Re-birthday!

I had the privilege of spending the weekend with family.

I flew into town on Thursday night, after a lay-over in St. Louis. Annie did surprisingly well for over 12 hours of traveling that day. Although I was a bit nervous on our flight out of town, a business man approached our seats and said, "Oh no, I don't know if I want to do this," referring to sitting next to me and my baby. But we enjoyed our hour and a half together. We talked the
entire way there and he helped to entertain Annie.

We snacked on airport food, took long walks around the terminal and watched as our flight departure time was delayed twice. She learned some new baby signs while we were there and I learned the delicate art of attending to restroom duties with a stroller and screaming baby in a smaller than normal handicapped stall.

We arrived at my parents house just after 1:00am and Annie was wide awake. She didn't take too well to being in a new crib so she slept with me and I awoke to her falling out of bed! Needless to say I was really tired Friday morning. We drove an hour to visit my friend Tammy and her family then spent the rest of the afternoon at David and Jenny's house. I really enjoyed my time with them. Augustine is getting so big and he made it very clear that Annie was not to touch his toys! :) I surprised him with Thomas the Train and I think we became fast friends.

As I was driving around town, I felt so lost. It has been 3 1/2 years since we left but it was more than not remembering street names, Duane wasn't with me. At some points it was nice to not have the responsibility of caring for two more children but they are my life. They are my heart and I felt a bit out of place without them.

Saturday we spent with my parents and began a search for Annie's Easter dress. We tried several different places but sweaters were a necessity in Ohio (it snowed almost the entire time I was there!) All winter clothing is put away in stores and the spring stuff is out. We settled on a cute little skirt and jacket. I also found a nice shirt and sweater vest.

Sunday came quickly. We arrived at my parents' church early and soon my grandfather arrived. He shared with me the testimony he was going to share before his baptism. I had no words. I just never thought that I would ever be in this place with him and it was his. It was his moment, it was his re-birth, it was his dedication to Someone that was changing him. He had his Bible with him too. God does amazing things. His word says that He do more than we ask or imagine. This is so much more than I had ever imagined.

I also ran into some close friends too. The Perry Family adopted me during college. While I was living with them their third youngest son was attending kindergarten and now he is a sophomore in high school. It was really good to catch up with them and to reminisce about how much we all have changed.

My uncle Mike and aunt Jerri came as did all my cousins: Jenny and her son Gabe, Kelly, Christy and Steve. As we sang during the service I was overcome with the thought that I was worshipping with my whole family. Sometimes I couldn't sing because of the emotions I was experiencing. Soon, my grandfather got up to share his testimony. As I held the camera to record him, I started sobbing. What a moment. My grandfather was laid bare, his emotions and his declaration of what a change Jesus has made in his life was overwhelming. Eight others were baptized along with him.

We shared lunch at my parent's house afterwards. It is in those moments that the Lord reveals what a sweet time we have when we are with other believers. My grandmother was missing and I felt that heavily. But even so, what a time to be celebrating!

2 Corinthians 6:2 says that today is the day of salvation, don't wait till tomorrow. I am so thankful for what the Lord has done!

Complete Joy

JOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOY

Dictionary.com defines JOY as :

the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.

The emotion that was caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

Have you ever experienced an emotion like that? I can think of a few instances in my life that have caused me great joy. The day that Duane asked me to marry him stands out in my mind. Each time I found out I was pregnant brought extreme joy to me! But what about a different kind of joy?

"As the father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:9-11

What does it mean to have our joy be complete? This is a question that I have wondered about quite often. But recently I think that the Lord has definitely shown me a glimpse of what Jesus is talking about.

About 3 1/2 years ago I was praying and my grandfather came to mind. I began praying for him and the Lord showed me some scripture. I was blown away by the passage because it spoke about my grandfather. Isaiah 57:17-19 says:

"...I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel."

My grandfather has made it very clear that he didn't need the Lord in his life. Many of us in the family have written him letters, spoke to him and all of us have prayed for him for a long time. As I read those verses I asked the Lord what He wanted me to understand. I felt Him say that He wasn't going to allow my grandfather to die until he had made a decision for Him. I shared this with my mom and we began seriously praying for my grandfather. Every now and then we would remind each other of this scripture. We didn't know when this would take place but we knew we had to believe the Lord for this.

Just a little over a year ago my grandmother passed away suddenly. My entire family was devastated and we watched my grandfather mourn for her. I continued to pray that the Lord would use this to show my grandfather that he needed the Lord and the strength that only He could give him.

The scripture came alive again in my heart. We were the "mourners in Israel" mourning the death of my grandmother and watching as my grandfather struggled through such a tough time. The Lord was fulfilling His promise to "guide him and restore comfort to him." My grandfather began reading the Bible and meeting with a pastor to ask a lot of questions. Finally a few months ago my grandfather accepted Jesus as his Savior! The Lord had fulfilled His promise!!!

Now comes the best part: God is "creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel!" Next week I will be flying back home to watch my grandfather get baptized! I cannot even begin to describe the joy I have inside. It is Jesus' joy. My joy has been made complete!

My Bruised Ego

Ever have one of those moments you thought you were in control of but only to find out that time has slowed down at that precise moment and you cannot control it?

I had one of those moments last night.

Duane and I began some yard work. That in of itself is enough to stop time. Duane despises yard work, I love it but I don't have a lot of time since I have to keep an eye on so many little ones. I used to ask Duane for some help until I realized it was like asking me to wash, wax and detail all of our cars. I'd do it but I'd be thinking of more important things to do with my time. We are having an open house this weekend for Duane's birthday and we wanted to make the backyard more inviting.

Duane was the one who started the yard work, I was so amazed that I ran inside to get Annie ready. I grabbed her jacket and started to walk into the living room to get her walker so she could be outside with us. If you have been to my house lately you'd notice that there is an abundance of baby gates. I have put them everywhere so the babies do not escape throughout the day.

As I walked into the living room, I had to cross over a baby gate. As I brought the first leg over it got caught on the pant leg of the other. I worked it free and continued over the gate. I pulled the other leg over and got it caught on the gate and began the descent to the hardwood floor with my 13 month old in my arms. Time slowed down and I groaned and fell flat on my side. I couldn't free either of my arms to catch myself since I was trying to protect Annie from getting hurt. My other two girls were in the room watching The Incredibles. Jena turned around as I was struggling to sit up. I was shaking because I was so afraid that I had hurt Annie, I had landed on one of her legs. Annie stuck her bottom lip out to make matters worse and began to cry. I am sure at that moment I didn't look quite like Elastigirl!

Jena on the other hand began to crack up laughing. If I hadn't had Annie in my arms I probably would have too but at the present moment I wanted to start crying along with Annie. I tried to stand up on my wobbly legs but I was shaking so badly that it probably made Jena laugh all the more. Just as I was ready to exit the room and leave my pride on the floor where it had fallen, Duane came in. I explained to him what had just happened and he began laughing too.

This morning I felt every bit my age waking up. My hip, knee and thigh are all bruised. I hurt my back in the process and I want to throw those dumb baby gates in the trash! Thank goodness for lessons in humility. They really begin to put us in our place even if it means a trip to the chiropractor for an adjustment!

Jena's Short Story

Jena is learning so much in kindergarten. I am constantly amazed at how quickly she is learning new words and learning to put them together. The school district uses 51 sight words. She has them all memorized and just last week entered the "Sight Word Club." I am so proud of her!

Last week she wrote her first short story. She borrowed some help from one of her favorite books about Curious George. She came up with the story line all by herself. The following story is written by Jena Marshall:


Curious George Gos to the Doctor
by Hans and Margaret Rey

Curious George wock (woke) up the neix (next) moring (morning) to go to the Docter. The Doctes (Doctor) looks in his ears. He lookt (looked) vare (very) good. Curious George got home. He wunt (want) to joi (draw) a picthr (picture) of he gos to the docter. The end.


I believe that I was functioning at this level when I was in 2ND grade. Surely, I was only learning about colors and shapes in kindergarten! I remember going half-days and never meeting the kid who went to afternoon kindergarten that I shared a locker with. Mrs. De Paula was my teacher's name. She was so warm and inviting. I remember being extremely shy and the smallest child in the class. Towards the end of kindergarten I was moved to the round table. It was rumored that the round table was for the special kids, the ones that were especially liked by the teacher. That is where I developed my first crush. Chris Webb. I secretly liked him till 6Th grade. Amazing. Other boys came and went but Chris and I had the connection of the round table. It almost seems like a Wonder Years episode.

Jena is having her own special recognition. She was recently moved from the #13 spot in line to the #2 spot. Never mind that she was moved because someone else couldn't pay attention in line, it made her feel very special. I am thankful that she has that. I just pray that she hasn't developed any crushes! I know her daddy wouldn't be too happy about that.

Another Decade

I've recently entered a new decade.

The day of my entrance was one of the worst days I have had in a long time. Without being too specific about my horrific day, I will say that I entertained the idea of walking away from the new decade. When the day ended I was still where I was needed and the next day had to get better, right??

In some respects it did get a bit better but not by much.

I received a card from my grandfather. In it he shared a quote from Thomas Kincade:

"Practice looking at the rooms around you with joy and thankfulness, recognizing how blessed you are to have a place to live. The people and places that are closest to us are the first to be neglected in times of stress."

At first I thought this isn't the typical greeting in a birthday card, but the more I thought about it, the Lord used my grandfather to speak a hard word to me. I haven't been thankful for what I have. I am whining and complaining about how I want God's blessing in my life and when it comes I don't recognize it as such but think that either I don't deserve the goodness or I complain about it. If I continue, what is going to make Him want to keep blessing me if I keep wanting to give it back? Eventually He may just stop altogether.

I have been feeling stressed out and living in the "woe is me" stage of life lately. I want to stop living there and move into a better season. Spring is around the corner and new life buds and there seems to be an expectancy in the earth of this new life. I am looking forward to walking in this newness.

Mind you I am not bemoaning this new decade. I think that I have prepared myself for it for a while and I am not sad that I am here. In fact I hope that I will embrace it and not worry that the grays are coming and the crows feet that creep across the aging face are coming towards me. I know many women that have embraced their age and they look very comfortable with who they are. Lord, let me be one of them.

Nurses in our bodies

As promised another wise saying from Paige:


We have a friend who thanks the Lord for the food and asks the Lord to "bless the food to the nourishments of our body." His children pray for their food the same way and my children have picked up on it too.

Except when Paige prays she says, "Thank you Jesus for the nurses in our bodies."

I started to laugh when she prayed it but then I was sobered by the Lord. I felt Him remind me that I interpret things very differently than what they are meant to be interpreted as.

Many things come to mind. Sometimes I hear what I want to hear from my husband, because I don't want to really hear what he is saying to me. I do the exact same thing with the Lord. I may think that I have heard Him say, "Go this way," or "Do this thing." But oftentimes the build-up of wax in my ears isn't helping. I proceed the way that I think is best without double-checking with Him to see if I heard Him correctly. The thing that I am doing might be "good" but it may not be the "best" for me at the time. I have been reminded by a good friend that we all are in different seasons in our lives and sometimes those seasons are a waiting season. Waiting isn't bad. Many times it is just what we need to find out if we have heard correctly. It is always good to err on the side of caution than to be further down the wrong road.

I am thankful for the "nurses in my bodies" because they remind me that I need to listen more closely to what is going on around me.

Wise words from a 3 year old...

Paige has been coming out of herself lately. If anyone has known anything about her in the past 3 years of her life, they would immediately agree that Paige was very uncertain of the world and the people that were in it.

Paige would greet people with a scowl. We had several good friends ask us if we thought that she liked them when she was about 18 months old. Some asked if she ever smiled. She did, but she just reserved it for us at home. She just seemed really untrusting of people in general. To drive my point home a little, she didn't even really like Duane the first year or so of her life. She was a "mama's girl" through and through.

Light is dawning in her smile these days. She still is uncertain of most people but once she learns that Mommy is comfortable with them then will she slowly come out of her shell around them. But behind closed doors at home, Paige leads a different life. Lately she has become the family clown.

With her crazy antics, comes some wise words...

Paige: Mommy, did you know that carrots make your elbows strong?

Mommy: Really? Hmm, I didn't know that.

Paige: Yes, they do. See? (Paige flexes her muscles to show me how strong her elbows are.)


Another time after going potty:

Paige: Mommy? I just went potty.

Mommy: Good job Paige.

Paige: I went #3.

Mommy: Oh, yeah? What is number #3?

Jena: It is toots, pee-pee and poopy!

Paige: Jena is silly, she made that up last year!


Paige tries to come up with all types of excuses for not going to bed...

Paige: Mommy guess what?

Mommy: What Paige? (Can you hear the exhaustion in my voice?)

Paige: My voice sounds like an old lady and that cracks me up!


This one was just tonight:

Paige: Mommy, where do police men sleep?

Mommy: At their houses.

Paige: Oh, ok.


I know that there are more of these stories floating around, I am having a hard time remembering them. Most I think that at the time I will write them down and I get distracted and forget. I will post them as they come to mind.

One Year Old!

Lying exactly as she had for almost 9 months, Annie tries to keep warm under the lights in the hospital. It is amazing that this little baby less than 30 minutes after being born has brought so much joy into our family this past year. I realize that I am being brave by posting this telling photo just moments after her birth. But considering the long night we had just come through and the fear in birthing her as quickly as I had to, I think that the smile was says it all. We had known that we were having another girl and were just so excited to share her name with everyone. It seemed to fit. Annie Noelle.
Annie has graced us with another life this year. She finds ways to make us laugh and sometimes make us cover our ears! She certainly is the loudest of the bunch but she has a sweet giggle and loves her older sisters so much. She is learning baby signs and is ready to walk. Despite her amazing accomplishments this year we know that the Lord has more for her. She has been prayed for and promised and then delivered. We know that God placed her in our family for some specific reason and we hope that we have the tools to teach her and outfit her for the rest of her life. In the meantime we'll enjoy waiting for those firsts and relishing in hearing her call us by name.

Pain

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin (1903-1977)

Pain usually isn't something most of us run towards, specifically speaking, you would see me running as far away as possible. I can be a big talker when it comes to dealing with pain, but when it hits, I am a wuss. I would like to think that my tolerance for pain has increased over the past 10 years, but sometimes I wonder.

Escapism is a hot word in my mind. I don't like to admit my cowardly ways but I tend to pretend the pain is nonexistent than to actually feel it. That tendency in me scares me sometimes. I fear that if I cease to feel the pain or at least pretend that it doesn't affect me, someday the truth of that may come true. Lord, forbid that from happening in me. I want to feel, not to live in a foggy state of nothingness.



Sometimes we have to feel the pain for God to heal the pain; but when His feelings converge with ours, the process is bearable.
-Beth Moore

It makes me understand more how with time healing comes to our pain. It brings a balm that in the initial moment of pain we cannot soothe ourselves with. The salve is thick as it coats the scars. It soothes the pain but often the scar remains. We are changed- we look differently than before. But a process has begun in us, it doesn't have to go just skin deep. If we allow the healing it can penetrate deeper, into the places that are in desperate need of healing. Only our spirit can fully feel the need- that's why God promises His Spirit as our comforter. He knows those places better than we know them ourselves.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-Sophocles (496BC-406BC)

Friday Night Meeting

This past Friday night we attended a leaders' meeting for the youth group that we are involved with. We spent the better part of 2 hours making plans for this year, discussing ways we can improve ourselves as leaders and then spent some time in prayer for the students.

Can you guess what some of the students were doing while we were busy planning their futures????

TOILET-PAPERING their beloved leaders' homes!!!! The audacity of some people!

We came home to put our tired children to bed Friday night and as we pulled up in front of our house, we were welcomed to the sight of toliet paper hanging from our trees and bushes. Proudly displayed on our sidewalk was: "WE (), (that is a heart) U! GOTCHA!" Then on the steps leading up to our front door was: "You have been officially initiated." Hmmm...initiated into what? The only thing that we are involved in is the youth group. So it leads us to believe that we were initiated, FINALLY, into the youth group after a full year of helping out.


IT IS ABOUT TIME LADIES!!!

I will confess that I snuck out of my house to retaliate on two of the people obviously involved. I gave myself away at Michelle's apartment, and seeing how she lives so close to Taya, I confessed to having some fun at Taya's house. (Remember to check the mouth of the deer in your front yard Taya.)

As silly as Friday night was for me, I really needed it. I finally felt ALIVE!!! Just kidding, but it was a great time, even if I was by myself! Ha, Ha!

Just Another Tuesday Morning

What a morning it has been!

Since it has been so cold recently we've had a time with some ice on our cars. The ice is pretty bad on our driveway that we haven't been able to park on it. Our driveway is extremely steep and there is a little fear that the car won't make it up the drive. We have been parking our cars out in front of our house.

This morning I went to start the car and begin the ice scrapping process. Most people wait for their car to warm up to scrape but my morning is so crazy trying to get 4 little people dressed and ready to leave, I cannot allow for that luxury. When I got done scrapping I came inside and smelled like exhaust fumes. I also smelled something else. Someone had a poopy diaper. I really cannot afford spare time to change a diaper at this stage of the game, I also had left the 6 year old in charge of feeding the 11 month old her cereal. But seeing how I would have to continue smelling this I took the time and that someone was very grateful.

As I drove the 6 year old to kindergarten the car beeped at me and she (the 6 year old) informed me, the driver, that the car was almost out of gas. Thank you. I dropped her off and watched her waddle on the ice into her school. Then I took off to go run my errands. The 3 year old says, "When we are done with Errand are we going to the grocery store?" She doesn't quite grasp that an errand includes going to the grocery store. She thinks that it is separate, whatever "errand" is in her mind, I have no idea! After running to the bank I remember my husband telling me the other day that the front tire of my car is getting low. So as I stop to fill up the tank I take a look. Sure enough it is. I spot the air hose with a sign that reads "$0.75 for air!" I choke at paying $0.75 for something that appears to me to be free. I don't pay for the kind I use everyday.

I pull the car around to fill the tire up. I cannot find the tire gauge so I am thinking that I will put just enough in until I can ask Duane where the gauge is and we will properly fill it later. As I walk around to the tire I notice a sign that says "In freezing temperatures place the air hose in your car's tail pipe for one minute before turning the air on." What??? I am a person that follows the rules, so I walk around to the back of my car and insert the air hose in my tail pipe. As I am sitting there on the ice holding the hose and trying to count to one minute, I can hear my baby screaming in the car. Fun times. I lose count because I cannot breathe the carbon dioxide fumes anymore and I am getting a headache. Why would anyone want to commit suicide this way? It sure smells and you get a horrible headache.

As I am fitting the warmed air hose onto my tire, I test it to make sure that the air is really coming out. I have filled tires before and it sure doesn't seem like enough air is coming out. But I paid $0.75 for this air and I am going to put it in my tire. The pressure is ridiculous. I try to equate it to something that makes sense in my brain. I know! It is like asking a 95 year old man with emphysema to blow up my tire! The time ends and the tire looks like it actually lost air. I don't have patience for this. The baby is still screaming and I am loosing feeling in my hands. It is only 8 degrees outside.

We go to the store and purchase our groceries. As we walk to the car I glance at the tire and it is almost flat! How did that happen? After inspecting it closer I decide that I still have enough air to drive to another gas station for another round of air. I load all the kids inside, a kind gentleman followed me out to the car and loaded all the groceries in the trunk for me. For this I am extremely grateful.

When I pull into the gas station, the baby begins screaming again, the 3 year old tells me that she is VERY thirsty and extremely hungry NOW. I just get out of the car and try again with the tire. This time I think to myself, "I will take my chances with the tire exploding, I am not going to sit at the back of my car and place this stupid hose in the tail pipe again!" This air is FREE!!!! My hopes are growing, I push the black button on the machine and the hose ROARS to life. What a difference. I place in on the tire and immediately see the tire move as it sucks up the air it needs. Since I cannot find the tire gauge, I place a guesstimation game and gauge the tire with what the other tires look like. Finally I put the tire cap back on and climb into the car. I just want to go home.

I am exhausted and it isn't even 10:30am yet.

What a morning.

Finishing what we start

Yesterday during our church service we had an oppurtunity to dedicate all three of the girls to the Lord. Not many people were in attendance though thanks to the sleet we've received over the past few days. Anyhow, our children's pastor Chris shared a verse with us and it reminded me of the incredible responsibility we have to teach our children about Jesus.

Proverbs 22:6 says:
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

In The Message version is reads:
"Point your kids in the right direction-when they're old they won't be lost."

Either way we are instructed to turn our children to the right way. In the NIV version there is a side note next to the word "Train" which says "Start." I think that this implies that it begins at a young age. Our children pick up habits and words fairly easy when they are young. Annie has just learned this weekend how to shake her head "No." Obviously she has seen us say "no" with our heads, it is easy for her to mimick because she sees it modeled quite often, especially when she is headed towards the cat food!

The dictionary defines the word "train" as:
"to develop or form the habits, thoughts, or behavior of (a child or other person) by discipline and instruction."

We are given this command to develop, train, form, discipline and instruct our children when they are young. The Lord gives us a promise at the end of this verse: "when he is old he will not turn from it." I have seen some this principle lived out in a few families too. It gives me hope that even as we certainly will make mistakes as parents but the Lord is faithful to us and to our children. Let's go on to finish what we've started in our own children!

The Chandelier & Other News

Because I have had several requests for a photograph of the chandelier from my parents, here is the photo:

Several posts ago, I wrote about the horrible week we were experiencing. I thought that I would give an update on those stories too. The first photo was of Duane's car being towed away. The problem was quickly fixed but then 2 days before Christmas, someone tried out their new BB gun on his back windshield, shattered the back window and grazed the side of his car in several places. I have had a really hard time forgiving this person, Duane handled it extremely well, and I am continually amazed by his responses!

Also, we had just begun our bathroom remodel. Since we are new to this remodeling phase things are a bit slow around here but I thought I would share some fun photographs. We have had some help from some good friends along the way. Kudos to Paul and his muscles. He almost carried the entire steel tub down our stairs. Jeremy, before he skipped the country (just kidding Jeremy!) was around to help the boys steer the tub out of the house. Never mind those pesky pantry doors Jeremy! My dad was the MAN laying subflooring, running electric to the bathroom, installing an exhaust fan, playing around in our attic, wiring new sconces, cutting and putting up new drywall, what else am I forgetting??? He rocked the bathroom, it really is dedicated to him! Michael lovingly taught Duane this weekend how to "sweat pipe." I feel kind of like I know what I am talking about using this lingo!

Let's see, what has Maria done to help out? Oh yeah there was that one night this week, I taped the seams of the drywall and got a horrible migraine in the process and had to go to bed, then woke up to Duane lovingly holding a bucket for me while I dispensed my dinner in it! I can take no credit for this remodel. I am so proud of my husband and his tenacidy with this project. Although he did say this morning that this is his opus. I think that he wants to go out on a high note when this bathroom is done and take a long break from any more remodels for a while. I can respect that.

Believe it or not, these two photos are of the same wall in the bathroom! It is amazing the transformation that is taking place. Paige is counting down the days that she no longer has to take showers!

January 4, 2001

"Happy Birthday to You, You live in a zoo! You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!"

Did you know that today is another national holiday? Well, it is, at least in the eyes of someone like Jena. Today is her 6th birthday. I am partly to blame. I convinced her that everyone in the nation would sing "Happy Birthday" to her on her special day. Then the rest of the evening we spent trying to undo what her brillant mother planted in her young mind. "It really is just another day, it just happens to be the day that we celebrate your birth." She is REALLY excited to say the least.

Jena came into our world 6 weeks early. I had extreme complications with Pregnancy Induced Hypertension. My body was out of control, I was on the verge of having a stroke and my blood pressures were outrageously high. So, I drove myself to the hospital, Duane met me there very soon after and we tried to prepare our young selves for what was about to come. We didn't have a thing prepared. Jena Hope came that night just before midnight. I was induced and kept a very close eye on for the next few days. Jena's lungs were still very imature and she was hooked up to all kinds of monitors in the NICU. I wasn't allowed to see her again until 2 days later. What an emotion I beheld when I saw her strapped to the monitors. We fell in love with her nurses and they understood our fears. Duane and I prayed over her bed and oxygen hood every night. I will not forget the time Duane ran back to my room to tell me that the nurses had to replace another of her IVs because she continued to pull them out. We took so much encouragement from that, it proved that she was gaining strength. I left the hospital while my baby stayed there. What a gut renching moment for us. We traveled back and forth and back and forth to the NICU each time praying that they'd allow us to take her with us. I was wearing myself out but I was determined to be there for every feeding. Finally 10 days later we could bring her home. I was so afraid the first day I was home alone with her, I sat on the couch the entire day until Duane got home!

Jena grew right on target. Her pediatrician was so excited with her progress. Of course, we didn't know any differently. We loved her so much and celebrated every milestone.

From an early age she knew that she had the makings of a princess!

At 2 years old she knew how to celebrate an important event. She loved the parades in our hometown, especially before they stopped handing out candy!


Jena and Paige decorated cupcakes for Jena's class. They were so proud of their creations! They even decorated a cupcake for Daddy and Mommy too. We have a tradition in our family...the birthday girl or boy gets to choose the family dinner for that night. In keeping with her true self, Jena has chosen French toast and cereal for dinner. Let's all drink to that!

My Dad

This past week we had some good time with my parents. They were brave enough to come while our bathroom was stripped to bare bones. My dad came prepared with old work clothes and a willing spirit to help where it was needed.

We had a chance to visit an antique store while they were here, we all love to check out the "finds." As we were walking around, Duane and I spied a beautiful chandelier and we talked about buying it for our entryway. But the more we talked we decided it would make a beautiful addition to our dining room. My parents over heard us talking and my dad approached me and said that they would like to purchase it for us. Of course, I immediately said, "No way." Then we received a small lesson in that cramped room about the gift of receiving from someone. What I took away from that speech was that I was being selfish in saying "No" because I was denying someone their joy in giving. As the "light" began to dawn in my dark mind, I thought about the times that I have been able to give to someone and the excitement I experienced from giving to someone even if it was something small. Here someone was wanting to do the same for me.

When we got home, Duane and my dad wired the light in place. After the electricity was turned on again, my dad looked at me and said, "Maria, you have the honors of turning the light on." I flipped the switch, they installed a dimmer switch too, and we all "Oohed and Ahhed, " over how beautiful all the crystals looked as their glimmered in the light. As I sat down to enjoy this light, I felt like a little girl does when she sees something beautiful and wants to be a part of it. This was my moment. I felt like a princess. It really took my breath away, not because of how beautiful the light was but because of the story behind it.

My dad, Ken, is not my biological father. Actually he has only been a part of my life for the past 9 years. Since I have no relationship with my real father, the word "dad" has really had a negative connotation in my mind. Bad things and situations are attached to that word for me. Feelings of rejection and worthlessness come crowding in when I hear that word. Desperation looms in my mind when I try to think of a kind thing to associate with "dad." Nothing comes to mind.

Except Ken.

What has happened in the past few years in my heart has been a transformation, a transplant of sorts. I remember distinctly hearing a song about a boy who wondered where his father had gone. I sobbed listening to the words, "Where is daddy, mommy?" I asked those questions many times. But this time, I heard the Lord whisper to me, "I am about to restore this to you." I literally couldn't breathe. "What do you mean Lord?" That was almost 1 1/2 years ago. Slowly God has shown me how He has given me what I have longed for. Although I am almost 30 years old, I can still experience those dreams I had as a little girl. And even though those dreams were not realized when I was 8 or 9 years old, they can be fulfilled now.

Back to my dining room realization...Ken, my dad, allowed me to be his little girl for that moment. I cannot even begin to express how my heart has responded to that simple act.

Thank you Dad!

An Amazing Gift

Sometimes I am cannot fathom all that the Lord has for us, can you?

Can I tell you a secret? I think that the Lord likes for us to wonder about what He is going to do in our life. Think back over a time that you were so excited to give someone a gift that you were almost shaking while they opened it. I think that is how the Lord feels sometimes when He has amazing things to give us.

I know that recently I was the recipient of one of these gifts. I can just imagine Him smiling as He waited for my reaction when I heard the news.

I got a phone call a little over a week ago from my mother. She started the conversation very calmly and then had to explain what she had just said because I didn't understand what she meant. She called to say that my grandfather had accepted the Lord. He has been researching and weighing heavily all the information that he has gathered over a long time, especially this past year. My grandfather is in his 80's and has decided that a relationship with Jesus is very important.

I can remember after I became a Christian, my parents had just divorced, thinking that I really didn't understand the impact of this decision that I had just made. I knew that I had a lot of emotions going on inside and I didn't know what to do with them. I remember thinking that all the "talking" I did inside my head could now be heard by the Lord! Little did I know that He had been with me all along, way before I decided to ask Jesus in my heart.

Not too long after that I realized that there were other people in my family that didn't know Jesus the way I was getting to know him. My grandfather was one of those people. If anyone knows me they know that I am extremely quiet and it takes a lot for me to confront someone especially about "Jesus." Well I did and it didn't turn out that well. But I kept praying for him. I knew that Jesus could speak to him the same way He'd spoken to me. I admitted that I was nothing without Him, I can't do anything good apart from Him and I believed that He was the only way to heaven. He says so in His word.

I continued praying for the next 20 years for my grandpa. Sometimes I think that I pray for something not really believing that it will happen. It just "feels good" to pray it, I think, "Well, at least I got that off my chest." Almost 3 years ago, I felt the Lord encourage me to continue praying for my grandpa. I had given up, I admit, at times, because he made it clear that he didn't want to hear it anymore. "Why should I keep going Lord?" He gave me some scripture that made it very clear that I needed to continue. I couldn't see what affect this was having on him, but I was beginning to see the affect on me. Perseverance and faith.


"Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing."
- Ephesians 2:7 (The Message)

Now the gift that I received was the best gift I could ever received. Something that I have been anticipating for 20 years. Not all gifts take that long to be delivered, some take even longer, maybe even a lifetime. I am so thankful that I was able to open it and imagine the look on my Father's face watching me open it.

Searching for the perfect gift?

Duane and I have an ongoing discussion every year at Christmas.

I have come to accept what he has tried to tell me for the past 8 years...I am not a very good gift giver. I give other people what I would like to get. In my defense I think that I could quote, "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Right?

Duane says that he throws out hints throughout the year and if I am paying attention I should pick up on those hints and know what he really wants. If I point-blank ask him, he is very vague. So far this year, what I have picked up on is that he really wants an Audi TT or an IPod. OK, my poor bank account cannot afford to buy my husband a new car and I only scored last year on a gift like XM Radio because of one of Duane's best friends clued me in on it. I am at a loss.

I try so hard to pick out a gift for him but it usually back fires. For instance when we were dating I was really excited because I was finally beginning to understand who he enjoyed listening to. I picked up on Bob Dylan. He had a few pictures of him lying around and a few of his CDs. So I found Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits. I wrapped it up and was so excited to give it to him. Yeah...he already has it.

Next year, we are engaged, I am getting a little better or so I think. Duane has shared with me his enormous collection of Star Wars toys and memorabilia. I find a Star Wars Monopoly game, wrap it up and give it to him...AGAIN, he already has it.

I think the next year I finally did it. I paid attention and saved up a lot of money and purchased a really nice Sony CD player for him. He was really excited, he could now listen to that extra copy of Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits. Too bad the Star Wars Monopoly sits in a box in the basement, still in its original plastic wrap.

Now I just blame the bad gifts on the kids, "They picked it out Duane, sorry." Since I scored one point last year, I am due for a bad present this year. Here's to the perfect gift that doesn't exist in my world!

As the saying goes...when it rains it pours.

I think that I haven't really experienced what exactly that expression meant until this week

A quick recap of our week...

Over a week ago Duane tried to start his car and it wouldn't hold an idle. Later he tried and he came in smelling like gasoline. For quite some time he has been getting a ride from a co-worker to and from work. When we had a friend stay with us and offer the use of their other car, Duane drove it to work one day and it started having problems too. So it still sits at his work until they can get it fixed. Duane is not allowed to drive anymore cars now! Duane's car was towed today to a shop where a gentleman can assess it's problems and give us some wisdom on how to fix it.

In other issues, we have had a leak in our upstairs bathroom that has caused us almost a $10 increase in water this past month! That is a lot of water! Our sink has not had hot water for quite some time too. Duane began the renovation this weekend.

This is a before picture, we had extremely beautiful pink tile ALL around the bathroom. We are finding that the walls are almost 2 or more inches thick because of the cement backing and the tiles used. Duane found a newspaper in the wall that dates back to President Roosevelt's time! In order to do this bathroom right it has to be taken down to the "bare bones."

At 3:00am today, I was up in extreme pain trying to heat a pack for my back. I had the water boiling and took the lid off the pan to check the water level when the stove top stopped working. I thought it odd and shrugged it off to pain and lack of sleep. The water wouldn't boil anymore. We have an extra setting on the stove for that particular burner and it heated up but the rest wouldn't. I switched the pan to another burner and continued heating the pack. But needless to say the other burner still isn't working.

In other news Jena lost another tooth, Paige hates to take showers now that the tub is out of commission and Annie is small enough still to take a bath in the kitchen sink! Do you know that it is only Tuesday? What does the rest of the week hold for us? In the midst of our week so far, Duane has almost put a hammer through his leg but we've managed to laugh at what we've been spared up to this point. We have to, otherwise we've fall apart from crying.

Sisters!

"Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters...all kinds of weather we stick together, the same in the rain or sun, two different faces but in tight places we think and we act as one. Those who've seen us know that not a thing could come between us..."

The bond between these sisters is growing each day. They may argue and whine at each other all day, but at bedtime, they've forgiven each other and are best friends again. They share a room and it kills one if the other has fallen asleep before her. She becomes lonely and calls out for her parents. Secretly I think that they play this game of who can stay awake the longest in hopes that Mommy or Daddy will come in and have special "talk time" with them while the other is asleep.

In just this past year, they have challenged each other, played with each other, missed each other when the other is gone and are currently learning how to put the other first. Friendship is born out a relationship like theirs. They adore the other, whether or not at times they want to admit it. Recently Jena was invited to a birthday party and she asked the hostess if Paige could come with her and she told her, "No three year olds aloud." Jena came home crying and said that she was going to invite Paige anyway. She was hurt for her sister and she desperately wanted to protect Paige. (Paige stayed with me.) Jena was very sad that Paige couldn't come but I think that she had a good time anyway.

Paige's question everyday at 3pm is: "Momma, can you make a snack for me and one for Jena so I can give it to her at school?" Not kidding, without fail, she asks this EVERYDAY! But we always make a snack to have after school. My girls are learning the true bonds of sisterhood and friendship. I am so glad to watch them grow into these roles. What a special time is ahead of them.

CHEVY MONTE CARLO

Well we made it back from the "heart of it all." Ohio's state slogan used to be the "heart of it all," because the state is somewhat shaped like a heart. But "they" have recently changed the slogan to something so lame that I can't even remember what it is!

Anyhow, we made the trip there in 14 1/2 hours. Record time for us! We even left town 4 hours later than we anticipated! Duane developed a game 2 years ago to pass the time on a drive to St. Louis with a friend, so we played that. It is called the "Monte Carlo" game.

To play the game, one must know what a Chevy Monte Carlo automobile looks like. I have been perfecting my skills over the past several months. When a Monte Carlo passes by, the player yells, "Carlo, (insert color of car)" and they receive one point. If by mistake the player calls another car by that name they lose 2 points. Kudos for the "Dale Earnhardt" edition, racing stripes, checkered flag logos, you just never know what type of graphics are on those Carlos.

So we began early on in our trip, Duane was ahead by 1 and he mistakenly called "Carlo" when it wasn't one and he dipped down to -2. Ah ha! I was ready for the competition! We battled through the turnpike, the long state of Missouri, Illinois and we were thinking we were in prime "Carlo" land when we got to Indiana!

We continued to play throughout the week, knowing that we missed a lot and we didn't count car dealerships along the way, "No fair!" We even stopped playing if the other one was tending the children or napping.

In writing this, I am hoping to generate some ideas for the punishment of the loser and some great rewards for the winner. I will reveal the scores in a later blog, after we come up with the reward system. If you have any ideas, let me know, we'd love to hear them!

GO BUCKS!

Ok, even though we been in this town for 3 years now, we are still HUGE Ohio State Buckeye fans. We search out other people that bleed scarlet and gray. We don't find many but when we do we feel a deep connection with them.

Like today, we were at our favorite store again and saw a gentleman wearing an Ohio State t-shirt. We stood in line behind him at the checkout. I couldn't contain the excitement I was feeling by seeing someone wearing something other than purple, so I asked him if he was a fan, I know dumb question. But it could have been a thrift store t-shirt for all I know. He told us his father coached under Coach Jim Trussel in Canton, Ohio. We told him that we were from Columbus and felt the love flow.

Anyhow, the Buckeyes are ranked number ONE!!!! They played against number two ranked Michigan this afternoon. It was a close game, filled with intensity and non-stop heart pounding excitement. It reminded me of the days I would park my little blue Toyota Corolla hatchback at the Horseshoe (the OSU football stadium) and walk the long trek to classes in the freezing cold. Man, I miss Ohio!

The Bucks won 42-39! I know that we didn't have a thing to do with their victory and not many people reading this care that much for the Buckeyes, but at least they have 3 fans out here in the real Midwest!

My Initiation

If you have ever had the great fortune to spend an evening with 5 teenage girls, you begin to realize that they speak a language all their own. Mind you, I am not quite that far removed from my teens, or at least I would like to live in that reality, but last Friday night showed me that my language skills are in need some refinement.

Our evening began very peacefully, we had a time to talk and pray together and then feast on some snacks around 11:30 pm. As the clock moved closer to midnight, the language got harder for me to understand. Where is my interpreter? Am I hard of hearing? What are they all laughing at? I was really beginning to feel that the years of motherhood have sucked my brain dry. Why wasn't I understanding what was going on?

Case in point: The Shape Game. Have you ever heard of it? Didn't think so. I hadn't either, nor had the other leaders, which should have been my first clue to feign sleepiness and head to bed. Oh, but my curiosity got the best of me and I followed everyone into the living room to learn this new game. Wasn't I paying attention to all the whispering? Apparently, not.

I sat down between two students and they began to explain the game. Everyone sits in a circle and the leader begins by drawing a shape on the cheek of the person to the left of them. That person in turn draws a shape on the next person and so on. It is basically a new twist on the old game of telephone. As the shapes move on from person to person, usually the shape changes and everyone laughs at what the shape turns out to be. But there is a catch, there seems to be a pattern to the shapes and whoever guesses the correct pattern wins. So I am thinking to myself, "This should be fairly easy since I am sitting to the left of the leader, my shapes won't be messed up and I have the best chance of guessing than anyone here."

On with the game. The first shape that she draws on my face is a straight line. I pass the shape along. This is easy. The next shape is a heart. Everyone seems to get that one right. The third seems to be a "U." Man, I think I am getting it! But it is kind of a gross game. You are trusting that the person who is writing on your face has clean fingers. The leader's fingers seem really clammy and cold. Oh well. At one point I joke around about licking my own finger and writing on the face of the person next to me because I think that is part of the game. The fourth shape is a "+." The fifth is really weird so I ask the leader to make it again. It appears to be "( )" on my forehead. What? I am concentrating so hard on the pattern that after the 5th time around, I think that I have it, so I shout out, "Ok, guys I got it." Everyone is laughing now and then I say, "I think that it is 'I love you plus Star Trek.'" Is that it? No one really got the Star Trek reference, I was picturing the guy with the really weird forehead but then again it is after midnight.

Apparently I was completely wrong.

I won't give the secret away in case you ever have the chance to play the shape game. Just don't sit next to the leader!

If you are one of the girls responsible and you are reading this, know that I love you and I feel your love, even if I did look the part of the fool.

Nine Months

It is hard to believe how quickly nine months can pass by. A lot can happen in nine months...

a school year passes by
a new life is formed in the womb
3 seasons can roll in and roll away
a baby can learn to eat, crawl and babble
healing can be found in that time
post-partum women can begin to see their body change back (somewhat!)

Although nine months can also seem like an eternity, sometimes it does pass by quickly. In less than a year the fulfillment of time passes by. Births, deaths, marriages, job changes, new seasons in life occur all the time. Do we sit down to pay attention to what occurs in that time? Oftentimes, not.

In reflecting in my own life, much as occurred in the past 9 months. We welcomed another daughter into our family, said goodbye to a dear family member, sent a "daughter" back to Japan and ushered another daughter into kindergarten. As we embrace a new season in our life, it is always good to look back and see what has taken place. What can we learn from it? What would we do differently? What good occured? How did we grow?

In saying "goodbye" to a loved one, I am learning, that sometimes I long for the "hellos" more than the "goodbyes." This is the case with my grandmother. She passed away 4 days after Annie was born. She never got a chance to see her and I didn't really get a chance to say "goodbye." I guess I am wishing to have that chance. We traveled back to her gravesite this summer, but I don't think that I really allowed myself the time to really grieve over her. My family was with me and I was a bit embarrassed to show my true feelings. My daughters mourned her unashamedly, I want to feel that way again.

Just one my stroke of her hand on my face would be enough for me.

I had a chance to fly home in May of 2005. I didn't tell many family members that I was coming because I was there to surprise my brother and his wife. On the last day I was there, I drove over to my grandparents house and walked in to surprise them. The look on my grandmother's face was so priceless to me. She sang my name, "Oh, Maria!" That was worth it for me. And that was the last time that I saw her. I am sorry that I didn't make more time to spend with them. I am so ashamed of that.

Although there might be things that we wish we could go back and do over, I know that the Lord can restore that lost time to us. Obviously He won't bring my grandmother back but I know that I can ask the Lord to bring to my memory special times I had with her and share them with my children.

Paige and Jena draw pictures and tell stories about "Grannie" often. I want to keep her memory alive in my home. I know that the Lord gave me my grandmother for a reason and I want to honor Him in her rememberance.

I had a chance to write a letter to be read at her funeral since I wasn't able to travel back for her funeral. My brother read the letter for me. As I sat to listen to the tape of the service I could sense a spirit of peace and celebration over her life. She lived a rich life and the Lord allowed her death to be used to bring those of us left behind closer to Him.

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21

Name Dropper?

So last evening we went to a favorite store of ours and Duane came walking over to me while the kids and I were enjoying the Christmas decorations. He said, "Guess who is here? Kirstie Allie!" I followed his gaze and only saw her from behind. She was walking with another person who Duane guessed to be her personal assistant.

We continued our shopping, namely picking up diapers and walked to the check out. Low and behold she walks right up behind us. The cashier's face goes completely red and she talks really loud at me, "Have a great evening!" Duane overhears her say, "Oh, that didn't happen, those are all lies." He looks at what she is looking at and sees the tabloids and People magazines sitting in front of her. We gather our children and head out the door.

As we walk out, Duane spies her car and tells me that he caught her looking at Annie. Yeah, I never thought that I would be a name dropper, but I confess Duane and I had a story to tell and yes, we are pitiful, not much happens in our town!

Duane tells the girls as we are leaving, "Look at the doors as this lady is walking out girls, she is a movie star." "Wow!" Jena says, "Daddy, what is a movie star?" Yes, she put it all into perspective for us. She is just another person on this planet that has the unfortunate time of people acting completely goofy whenever they see her. Of course, sometimes people act completely goofy around me but I don't need my time in the spot light for it to affect me! Poor woman she moved to our sleepy little town to enjoy more goofy people! Oh, by the way did I mention that she bought a house at the end of our street too? I am shameless, I know! :)

What happened to the white truck?

Once every two months or so a big white truck pulls up in front of our house to take away some used clothes or household items in large pink bags. AMVETS sends out a driver to pick up items that we no longer need. I love when this happens. I think that Duane gets a little nervous, I want to pitch everything, he wants to keep it. So seeing the white envelope in the mailbox holding a pink bag inside excites me! "What can I give away this time?" (Some months I save a bag so I can have lots of pink bags out front.) A children's song by Jack Johnson comes to mind, "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle." Love it!

Yesterday was one of those days, I eagerly collected my bags and ran down the stairs with them. I threw on Duane's coat and carried my swollen bags out to the curb. As I set them down I remember thinking, "Lord will you bless whoever can use these?" I don't normally think about that, I am usually just excited to get rid of them.

Usually the driver comes early, some months I have missed him because he is so punctual. The envelope states that they will pick up "Rain or Shine by 8:30am." It even states that "You don't need to be at home." They don't want cash donations, just "household discards!" How perfect!

Until...I get a call from my neighbor..."Hey Maria, want to hear a funny story? Want to know where your bags are?" I love funny stories so of course I am all ears now. "Yes, what is it, did you want them?" She goes on to tell me that as she was getting home late last night a black Explorer drove slowly past our house. She didn't think much about it as she carried things into her house. But as she came back out, the car came by a second time. She called to her husband and said it freaked her out a bit because they kept slowing down each time it came near our house. So they went back inside and watched from the window to see if the car would return. Sure enough it did, but this time, someone jumped out from the car and grabbed all my bags and threw them in the back of their car and they drove away. They didn't even leave me a receipt for tax purposes!

So, sometimes my understanding of blessing is different than others. They must have really needed my bags. But if you happen to be garage-saling soon, let me know if you see my black v-neck shirt, I might swing by and ask for a receipt.

Inspiration when we need it most

One thing that I am learning from the place that the Lord has me in right now is that it is the place that I am supposed be. Three different times in the past two days very significant things have happened to show me that the Lord knows my struggles and my victories and He is in the midst of them. Where are you? Are you in a time of struggle or victory? As trite as my pettiness seems sometimes, He is in those petty details of my little life.

Just today I received a forward from a friend about our friend Wendy. Several weeks ago she ran in the Wichita Marathon. Wendy has an amazing story, battling lupus and just beginning her love of running in the past year. I am so inspired by her and the incredible stories I hear from her about what the Lord teaches her through her running. I know that Jesus is running with her. He carries her and shows more of Himself to her each run and each race. He is also using this to touch other people. Many people wonder about her dedication and her struggle through this and she always points them back to Jesus. He is her strength. I love her so much! Click on the link below to catch a glimpse of this amazing life.

http://www.aircapitalmustangs.com/members/jeremy/vids/Wendy.htm

What a Girl!

Duane and I have a big girl now. Jena lost her first tooth on Saturday. After an exhausting day before, she was diagnosed with strep throat and threw up three different times (two of those times being in the car too) Jena was so proud when her tooth came out! We were too!

I caught myself from crying in front of her. What a journey she is on and it is so exciting to see the steps she gets to take each day. It is amazing to know that she will be followed by two more sisters, it humbles us to think that we get to be their parents.

Still I am going to relish this moment as she gets that much closer to becoming a big girl, or since she is from my family, that much closer to needing braces!

One of those mornings...

I am having one of "those" mornings. There a song that says, "Mama said there be days like this..." Thanks for warning me Mom!

Sometime during the night, Jena became afraid and came running into our room and crawled in bed with us. About 5am she awoke with a sore throat and a fever. I gave her some medicine and heard Annie crying. After I fed her I decided I might as well stay awake. I had a really good time during my quiet time and even had some time to make breakfast for my husband too. Poor Duane, his wife doesn't make him a hot meal every morning, but this morning, even if it was on the run, he had some fresh muffins to eat.

Then the girls woke up and I started the mornings routine. After calling the mothers of the children I watch to warn them about Jena and calling the school, I still needed to bathe the girls. So as I sit here, I want to fall asleep, but the sounds of Sesame Street rudely keep me awake! I suppose that is a good thing. Oh yeah and before I sat down to type, I spilled 3/4 of my coffee all over the computer desk. One good thing, it didn't get on the computer!

So as we move on with the day, I look forward to the next part, lunch and naptime! I love days like these.

The Newest Chef in the Kitchen Is...

My newest helper in the kitchen is a quiet one but nonetheless loves to be beside me. She enjoys learning how to make desserts. Her favorite is brownies. But this day we decided to make chocolate chip cookies. Throughout the entire process she continued to ask to taste the batter. Who doesn't like a little cookie dough now and then? After we were all done, Paige was able to lick the batter on the beaters. I remember cooking in the kitchen with my grandma when I was Paige's age. My favorite thing to help her with was mashed potatoes. She never used measuring cups, she had it perfected. I was always amazed at how great they always tasted. Somewhere in the abyss of photographs is a picture of me licking the beaters with mashed potatoes on them. That is such a fond memory of my childhood.

Happy Fall!

We began our morning with a trip to the pumpkin patch to celebrate our friend Judah's 3rd birthday. The girls had agreat time eating cookies bigger than their heads and scavenging for pumpkins. The best part was watching Judah open up his presents! Before we left we climbed a large stack of hay bales and had a family picture taken. Annie was loving the texture of the hay. Annie also enjoyed the taste of gourds! Not much escapes her mouth these days, see for yourself in the following photos.
Annie enjoys food. I began making food for her and I am amazed how cheap it is to make our own food! The last photo is taken after Annie followed me into the kitchen. I turned around in time to see her take a hand full of our cat's food and throw it across the kitchen. I ran to grab the camera and found her picking up a piece and putting it in her mouth. She then grinned at me and said, "Yumm!" We have our hands full with this little one. But we love it!

A True Marriage

We have some dear friends that are hurting right now. Their father is dying. He is struggling through some extremely aggressive cancer. He was just diagnosed recently and the effects of the cancer have taken their toll on his body. He is very strong and continues to hold on even though hospice stands amazed that each day he continues to live. He has not eaten in 2 1/2 days and at times seems to take his last breath. I cannot imagine standing by and watching a loved one struggle like this.

In an email update our friend writes:

Before bed last night, Barb sat by his bed holding his hand. I held her for a minute while she cried. She said she wants it over with, yet she doesn't want to let him go. It's so hard. She told Dave yesterday, "It was such a love affair." She and George truly were happy together and had a strong, healthy marriage.

The father has shared with his children that he knows where he is going and is ready. He has taught his children about the Lord and stands to leave an incredible legacy with his 9 children and all his grandchildren. But as a wife I cannot imagine the struggle she is facing. As she said she doesn't want to let him go but it is so painful to watch him suffer this way. How do you pray during these times?

This has made Duane and I once again reflect on our own "love affair." We want it to be said of us that we were "truly happy together and had a strong, healthy marriage." Isn't that what a marriage is about? Despite the petty differences and the disagreements over who is right this time, in the light of eternity, what does that all matter? What matters is a marriage deeply committed to the Lord and a love affair with the spouse of my youth. My words fall so short of the depth of love I have for my husband. I am so grateful to the Lord for putting him in my life. I love you so much Duane!

Shh...it's so quiet.

Maria's blog

I cannot even begin to tell you how incredibly quiet it is in my house right now. It is Wednesday evening and Duane, Jena and Paige are at Arise. I stayed home with Annie because she is a sick, miserable mess right now. I am also not feeling well. The chance to spend an evening in complete quiet settles my heart!

I've been wandering from room to room not knowing what to do with myself. It is so nice to feel this way. No babies are crying now and no one is asking for something from me. Wow, what a retreat! My husband deserves an award for loving me enough to encourage me to stay home by myself with Annie. I love him so much!

Isn't it wonderful to appreciate the little things in life every now and then. SILENCE is truly golden in my life!

The Gift of Friendship

Amy Amiee Andrea Ange Anissa Annie Ashley Becca Beverly Bridget Britney Carriane Carrie Cherie Cheryl Christina Crystal Debbie Debby Dia Dihn Ema Emily Faith Gail Gayle Holly Jackie Jamie Janetta Jayne Jena Jennifer Jenny Jessica Jill Judy Joleen Joleyne Kathi Kelly Kelley Lacey Lacy Lara Leah Lilla Linda Lisa Lissa Liz Lori Michaela Michelle Nikki Paige Phyllis Rachel Robin Samantha Sara Sarah Shari Sherry Sidrah Steph Stephanie Sumon Tammy Terri Tracy Tina Wendy

These names represent the women that have had an impact in my life. I have known many Sarahs, Amys, Lisas and Stephanies but the fact that each of these names represent a special bond of friendship humbles me. These names aren't listed in any particular order other than alphabetical, so as not to step on anyone's toes. The friendships may have been for a season but I grew because of that season. (Of the 73 names listed I am sure that I have forgotten a few and even as I write this more names come to mind.) Even if the relationship fizzled because of differences I can see now how it has challenged me to grow. Beginning when I was 3 years old till now those names carry many significant changes in my life. 13 names remind me of significant people in my life before I turned 10. Some names represent mentors I have had in my life. 8 represent dear friends that I spent time with growing in the Lord as a young teenager. Many more remind me of rocky times in college, such a challenging time for me then. 2 of my friends are no longer living and they remind me to enjoy the friends I have now. 6 of the names listed remind me of the daughters I have had the privledge of mothering, even if for only a few weeks.

Such a deep sense of gratitude grows within me when I look over this list. I am proud to have known these women as babies, young girls, teenagers, mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers. What a legacy we can have, even if it starts with a simple thing like friendship.

Just tell me mama!

Maria's blog

Our girls are very concerned with our schedule, to the point that they are constantly asking what is next on the agenda. Tonight at dinner was no exception.

Generally we are on the run but Thursdays are family night around here. Especially since Duane and I have found a TV show that we don't want to miss. Before TV, like 2 weeks ago, we used to frequent the library.

As dinner, Paige turns to me and says, "What are we doing tonight Mama? Are we going to church?" (Usually that is the question, "Are we going to church tonight?" Tells you that we spend a lot of time there.) Anyhow, I told her that we were staying home. She obviously wasn't satisfied with my answer and says, "Just tell me Mama, are we going nowhere or yeswhere." I laughed because Paige likes to give me 2 options with every question she asks. Usually she says, "Yes or no, Mama?"

I love to think about the way they put together their own vocabulary. Jena spent most of her 2nd and 3rd year with a French accent. Paige hasn't quite picked up her "R" sound so for instance instead of saying, "Water" Paige says, "Wateey." I have been told that I did the same. I have since refined my ways and would like to think that I can help her add another letter to her alphabet. In the meantime, I am just going to enjoy the way she talks to me!

I love my babies!

Can you guess who is who? Looking at these photos brings such joy to me. It is hard to believe that these girls are mine. They each have such different personalities but I don't think I would be complete without them. The Lord has given us such gifts in them. How can you deny these beautiful but messy faces?

The first photo is Paige. She is 15 months old in this photo. She was licking her bowl of yogurt clean. Paige's favorite things right now are snacks and playing house. She really enjoys helping Mommy cook in the kitchen, as long as she can sample during cooking, she is content. She is 3 1/2 years old now. She also likes to practice her "letters" like Jena does. Lately she has been complaining that her leg hurts and a friend reminded me that Paige has been really clutzy lately and she might be going through a growth spurt now. Paige loves to make us laugh with her silly stories and forever will have gas!

The second photo is Jena. She is 9 months old in this photo. She was enjoying yellow squash. She is 5 1/2 years old now and could care less about yellow squash. Jena's favorite things now are practicing her 51 "site words" for school and learning to read sentences. She also loves to play house with Paige and it never fails but that she always gets to be the "girl." Jena loves to finish Paiges' meals, if there is anything left, and is also constantly asking for something else to eat. She too must be going through a growth spurt. Jena is really pursuing a love of singing, she carries around a personalized CD with songs all about herself.

Finally, the last photo is of Annie. She is 6 months in this photo and at that time the only thing she was enjoying was sitting in the kitchen watching momma prepare her food. Annie is 7 1/2 months old now and is crawling. She wants to keep up with Jena and Paige. She also loves to snack! She has signed a few words. We have taught each of the girls baby signs. Annie knows : all-done, eat and more. I am so proud of her. She lights up the room with her smiles!

What a treasure they are to us. We couldn't have asked for a more incredible bunch of cuties! Duanes' nicknames for the girls are: PB & J. Paige is PB, & stands for Annie and J is for Jena. I remember a conversation that Duane and I had when we first found out that we were pregnant for the second time, "How can we possibly have enough love for another?" Looking at them, it is easy to see that the Lord graces us with his love for them everyday and it is an incredible love!

Want a piece of the pie?

I have been laughing to myself a lot lately about the silly things that young children say. Sometimes those things bring tears to my eyes.

Last week I took Jena with me to get my hair cut. My hair is pretty short now and Jena made it VERY clear to me that she didn't care for it. She believes with all her heart that no one can be considered beautiful unless they have long blonde hair. (I think that most of the world agrees with her too.)

Anyhow, the next morning I was blow drying my hair, a luxury in my morning, Jena walks in and looks in the mirror at herself and says, "My hair is more beautiful than yours Momma." Wow! Where does she get off? I was feeling so defensive that morning and I wanted to yell at her, "Yeah, well, what do you know? You're only 5!" But of course the Lord shut my mouth in the nick of time and I responded something silly like, "Jena you know that really hurts mommy's feelings." (To be honest, I really did feel like crying at that moment. Sometimes it is ok if other people don't like your clothes or your hair cut, but when your own flesh and blood voice what others are thinking, it really does sting.)

So I left Jena to admire herself in the mirror. Later that day Paige says to me, "Mommy your hair looks like a mushroom." Again, I was taken aback! How did she put that together? But then she redeemed herself by saying, "Actually (this has become her favorite word lately) your hair looks like eggplant." Oh how the Lord brings humility through the mouths of babes.

Just yesterday the girls were playing on the playground after school when I walked up to them. One of Jena's friends has an older sister in 2nd grade. I complemented her by telling her that I really liked her t-shirt. She said thank you and another little girl asked, "Do you like mine?" "I sure do," I said, admiring her Wal-mart sticker too. Then I responded, "What about my shirt?" Ok, a voice inside is saying, "Probably not a great idea to listen to a bunch of elementary school girls talk about fashion, but what do I have to lose?" Then Jena's friend's sister says, "Oh it is a little boring but not quite like what my granny wears. " There, that was the warning I should have listened to but I kept it going.

I am sure that others have quietly kept their mouths closed about what they think and they are entitled to that. I haven't quite come around to really appreciating the honesty that I have heard from my girls either. Annie wouldn't even look at me when I got home from the salon. She has since forgiven me though...she laughs at me when I walk in the room.

Duane has been very vocal about what he thinks and it all seems to be positive, of course he is a very good actor! I think that he seems sincere about it, although he teases me a lot. Do I sound a bit insecure about my hair?

So I purposefully didn't include a picture of myself in this entry because I would like to keep you all guessing what a granny wearing t-shirt, eggplant/mushroom haircut woman looks like!
Of course you are also welcome to stop by and have a taste of my humble pie, it is due out of the oven soon.

Hiking Through Withrow Springs

Duane and Paige hiking and "almost" falling. Kudos to the boys for borrowing an idea from another camper...the bucket light...it gave us light throughout the night. Plus it kept those pesky armadillos away from our tents! The first night I awoke to Annie screaming and then heard scratching on the side of the tent...I frantically awoke Duane to go find out what it was. He was NOT happy with me! Jeremy told us the next morning that he had chased away 2 armadillos from our campsite that night!




As promised a collection of sorts of the camping trip...above is a hike we took with the kids. The hike was 3/4 mile, but we took a different route and the kids hiked more than a mile. They did a great job. Before our hike, Wendy took the girls in search of walking sticks. They felt like real hikers with their sticks. Duane taught them how to walk down a steep path with their sticks. After collecting nuts, Paige decided she was tired of carrying her stick and she tried to put it in her pocket! What a riot!

Duane surprised us all with his fashion sense. I found him posing outside of Arbys! That would be Jena's sweater he is wearing. Here the girls are enjoying their candy in Eureka Springs! Check out Paige and Kate's suckers. Here little Annie gets some driving lessons from her daddy! We all really enjoyed our time together despite cars failing on the highway and near fatal crashes on the way home. I'd do it again!

Camping with the Kennedys!

This past weekend over Labor Day, we vacationed with the Berryman and Grist families. We traveled to northwestern Arkansas and spent 3 cold nights and 4 cool days under the stars. We had amazing weather and the all 6 girls had a great time!

We experienced true road traveling with walkie talkies! It was like traveling in one car! The men set up the tents while the women prepared the evening meal. The girls took to exploring and within minutes found a lizard! Everyone tried to hold it and even Paige had a chance to squeeze it's insides out!

On Saturday we took a chance and drove into Eureka Springs to feast upon the sites. Of course everyone else had the same idea. Eureka Springs boasts only 1900 in population but the town is definately the highlight for tourists. Every square inch is covered with little shops and candy stores. We traveled around for almost 30 minutes trying to find a parking spot. Eventually we did and then everyone needed a potty break. Finally we were able to explore. After venturing in and out of small shops, the 12 of us bought the girls some candy and sat down to rest. I happened to glance up and saw Duane's aunt Gail walking towards us! What a suprise!

Gail lives 2 1/2 hours away and just happened to be in town on her way to see the Razorbacks play USC. What are the chances that we would happen to see someone we knew when we were 5 1/2 hours away from our own home? It had to be the Lord.

We had the chance to hike and even go swimming. The mommies had a great time sliding down the water slides at the pool and I think that we amazed our own children with our abilities to have fun! We survived with only 2 ticks amongst the 12 of us. Poor Paul has the unfortunate milady of chiggers! Paige survived with only a few bumps and scrapes and Jena had a high fever for 2 days. Annie did well despite the cold night air and Duane and I survived sleeping on a few rocks! Jeremy did happen to get clocked in the mouth with a frisbee by his own daughter too!

All in all I'd say we had a fun time, Madelyn shared that she wants to go camping again but this time she wants to stay 10 days! I think that I will take an air mattress if that is the case!

I'll post more later!