A Lesson from History...

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only that gives everything its value."

-Thomas Paine, 1776

In reading a book about the Revolutionary War, I found this quote by Thomas Paine. I cannot stop thinking about what he was trying to convey. As the Patriots were fighting to gain independence from the British troops, Paine penned these words to encourage the Patriot troops as they valiantly fought for freedom.

As I began to think longer about how these words could encourage us today, I feel the Lord speaking through these words. In looking at our own lives, how can we apply these words written over 200 years ago?

Personally speaking, I can see how the past 5 months have been a struggle to trust the Lord in a desperate move in faith. I know others who are struggling through some serious losses, deaths and major changes in their own lives. History shows what glorious triumphs the Patriots gained through their hard conflicts. American independence. The battle they won would affect generations of men and women. But what about our own lives? What triumphs can come through such painful trials?

Think about your own life right now, what trials are you battling your way through? Does it seem hopeless? General George Washington led his troops through a blizzard on Christmas night in 1776, caught their enemy by surprise and won their freedom. Consider how the troops must have felt going into battle that night. They had to cross an icy Delaware River in a blizzard, they were tired and longing to be with their families since it was Christmas Day. They weren't sure that their strategy would work but they believed in their commander and the words of encouragement he spoke to them that night. He read the words of Thomas Paine to his soldiers before they rallied to attack their enemy.

He wouldn't desert his troops this night. He was riding right along with them into battle. He had to trust that this was the right direction and he was asking his men to have faith in him that night. He didn't know the outcome but he fought with all his might. They gave him their support by trusting him and encouraging one another. Not many Patriots lost their lives that night, but the enemy suffered a serious blow to their troops.

What is your Commander speaking to you right now? Is He asking you to trust Him through this battle? Does it seem hopeless? Is there a blizzard in front of you and you are wondering where the next attack from the enemy is coming from?

Your Commander is riding into battle with you. Do you know that?

In contrast to General George Washington, your Commander knows the outcome of this battle. He know what glorious triumph is awaiting you on the other side of the fight. You might be weary and tired. You are tired of fighting and want to give up. You want to be in safety instead of on a battle ground. You aren't alone. Others are fighting with you. Others are encouraging you to keep going. When you stand up when the enemy thinks he has beaten you down, you will begin the defeat of his schemes.

Your Commander knows you are weary, He knows your limitations, but He also knows your strengths and the potential He sees in you is greater than what your enemy sees. Allow this battle to be won by Him. Don't give your enemy any chance to gain ground on your battle field. With your Commander with you, push him back to defeat. Allow the Commander to lead you. Ask Him for direction. Ask Him to show you His might. He knows the best strategy for your battle. He wants to bring victory.

The triumph that awaits you is more glorious than you know.

"My times are in your hands, I know I'll never understand, but I'll trust in You."

I distinctly remember praying this morning that the Lord would direct me in what would take place today. I had planned to travel to the grocery store and that would be the biggest thing to take place today. I made it to the store without incident, grabbed what I needed and came home long enough to put the groceries away and let little Ruby take a 45 minute nap. Then it was time to head out to pick Paige up from kindergarten.

I've enjoyed going to pick her up every day now. I am beginning to make some friends with the other parents and even though it is a brief 10 minutes to connect, it fills me up. Lately it has been pretty frigid but I bundled the girls up and we waited along with the other parents for our children. After we got home, we ate lunch and began rest time.

Paige and I usually take some time to read together, it is my time to connect with her even if we're just reading together. We are making our way through a series from the Magic Tree House books. It is a great series that teaches children about some important times in history and I'm learning right along with her.

After we ended our chapter, it is Paige's unfortunate time to rest quietly on my bed. I say that because she hates it, it really is more for me than for her. I need to take some down time away from everyone, and if I let her stay up, she talk at me for the next hour and a half. Sometimes a momma needs quiet.

Paige sat on the bed and began to cough. She's had a cough most of the week but as I watched her, it didn't look like she was getting any air between coughs. I grabbed her a cup of water and told her to lie down just so she could settle down and relax but that just made the coughing worse. I brought her into the bathroom and set the Nebulizer out for her to take a breathing treatment. Normally I don't jump to that so quickly but it was going on 15 minutes of her constantly coughing and I could tell she was getting really agitated.

Once she was settled I called the doctor's office to get their advice. I can handle fevers and vomiting, I know how to handle that but the breathing issues we've been facing lately, freak me out to no end. I don't like seeing my child struggle to get a breath. The doctor's office wanted to see us soon since the breathing treatment didn't look like it was working. We had to pick Jena up on the way. While we were waiting for Jena to come to the car, I began to worry. Paige had been coughing for a full hour by this time and she threw up while waiting. She looked at me and asked: "Mommy, is the doctor going to be able to help me?" My heart sunk.

I immediately tried to reassure her and began praying peace to settle over her chest. "Peace, Lord, bring Your peace over Paige." I desperately bit the inside of my cheek to hold back my own tears. "What if they couldn't settle her breathing down?" I've never personally experienced an asthma attack and I wasn't sure if this is what she was having.

We got to the doctor's office and once again Paige threw up in the parking lot. I prayed quickly for the Lord to help me because I was carrying Ruby and wanted to pick Paige up but I couldn't carry them both, thankfully Jena was watching Annie. These are the moments that I wish I had more arms to carry all my children.

Once we got into the waiting room, Paige was beside herself. She was embarrassed that she had thrown up and had remnants on her pants, she couldn't stop crying and everyone watching us. I continued to reassure her, all the while I wanted to scream, "Can you hurry it up, please?!!"

Her oxygen level was at 98 which was a good sign and she didn't have a fever. Once the doctor came in, she said that her lungs seemed clear but she wanted her to be aggressive with the nebulizer for the next few days because what Paige was experiencing can easily turn to pneumonia. She asked about Ruby too because she could hear her wheezing too.

Both girls are taking treatments for the next few days and I am to limit Paige's activity levels for awhile. Good luck with that. This is the girl who skips everywhere and jumps from tile to tile all over the house. She hops on furniture and loves to chase the other girls around. I believe that might be the hardest part of this all.

In the midst of this crazy afternoon, I know that the Lord was ordering my day, walking along with me. Giving me peace and keeping me from freaking out in front of my children, giving me a sense that He was with me and I wasn't alone in the midst of the fear I was experiencing.

I had wanted Duane to be with me but I couldn't get a hold of him during all this. But I realize now that the Lord is teaching me to rely on Him alone. I may not physically see Him but I trust that He is with me.

Duane is not home tonight, he had to go to small group but the girls and I had a really incredible night tonight before bed time. We took some time to read a passage in the bible about the last supper. We talked about communion and were challenged to memorize a verse. When Jena read the verse for us tonight, we realized it was one that we'd already memorized and even Annie remembered the signs we'd made to help us remember.

Having given thanks, he broke the bread and said, "This is my body, broken for you. Do this to remember me." 1 Corinthians 11:24 (The Message)

Despite what had happened earlier today, I feel like the Lord brought His peace and showed us how even in the midst of some scary circumstances that are definitely out of our control, He desires to teach us something about Himself. It isn't about me, our focus should be on Him. Hopefully the girls learned more about that tonight too.