Farm Life

This past weekend we traveled to The Harber Farm in Salem, Arkansas. Duane's uncle Harley and aunt Gail own a farm in rural Arkansas. What an escape for us! We really enjoyed ourselves and the girls had a lot of new experiences.

Thursday night this mare gave birth to her little foal. The girls had a great time watching the little foal walk around with her momma. The mare was really protective of her baby. We were amazed at how well the little horse did for being just a few days old. By the end of the weekend, she was running with her mother!

The girls spent a few afternoons playing in the creek that runs through the farm. Another family joined us with their 4 daughters and the girls all had a great time together.

Duane and I shared our own time together in the creek. We experienced kayaking for the first time. We faired pretty well the first time. When we went to put the kayaks out the second day, Duane shared a story with me that he had promised he wouldn't share in front of the girls. The day before, Duane's Uncle Harley and his friend Paul walked up to the front porch and a 5 foot snake greeted them. They quickly killed it with a shovel before any of the girls saw it! Great timing Duane! I entered the water freaked out that I would see a snake. I will say that I let all inhibitions die though. I learned to relieve myself along the bank. I think that I really surprised Duane. It was a long walk back up to the house and I really needed to go, so I did. He looked at me and said, "I cannot believe that I have waited 8 years for this moment!" Ah, the great outdoors.

As Duane put his kayak in the water the second day, I looked around to see him plop right out of it! We were just commenting how much more at ease we felt this time since we knew the river better! How funny, poor thing he rode the rest of the way down the river in wet clothes! I on the other hand found a low lying tree that I decided to put my kayak in! We just cracked up at our pride!

On Sunday, Uncle Harley and Aunt Gail surprised the girls by asking some of their friends to bring their horses to the farm so the girls could ride them. They were beside themselves with excitement!

Here Jena is standing next to one of the horses. Jena loved the horses. She was upset that she couldn't ride on her own, but she enjoyed the time she was led around! Duane and I were really surprised by Paige's excitement too. Usually she is a bit more reluctant but she did not want to be left out of this excitement. While the girls were riding the horses, Annie was enjoying the carrots that were for the horses!

She chewed on this carrot for over a half hour and was really bent when we took it away from her. Later we realized that it was great for her teething! I am sure that the horses didn't mind a little baby slobber!

Not only did Annie check out the carrots, she enjoyed checking out Momma too. I wonder what she was thinking. (Gail surprised us with this photo!)

After Paige had some time on the horses, she decided that she wanted to help Uncle Harley water the trees on the farm. So she followed him to his truck and helped him for the better part of an hour water the trees. Harley nicknamed her "Indian Princess." I think she secretly loved the attention!

We are grateful for the long weekend away! We always enjoy ourselves with Harley and Gail and it is pretty special to share these experiences with the girls! I think that they also enjoyed themselves too!

Is He-Quite Safe?

I have had the privilege for the second time to sit down with my girls and read to them from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. We have been taking the book one chapter at a time and reviewing what the previous chapter was about before reading the next. Jena loves it because she is learning to read over my shoulder and tries to follow along. Paige likes it because we lay on Mommy's bed and snuggle together, the only thing she is trying to follow along with are the sketches throughout the book. I enjoy the closeness I feel with my girls but also I am beginning to understand the parallels that are depicted in Aslan the lion to Jesus.

Towards the beginning of the book the characters find themselves wandering about in Narnia. They realize at some point that they are in danger and they are led by some beavers to a safe place. During a conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, the Beavers explain why it is always winter in Narnia. The self-described Jadis, Queen of Narnia, has placed a spell over Narnia that it will always be winter. The only way the spell will break is with the help of Aslan, a lion. The children begin asking questions about Aslan, whom they've just found out they will soon meet:

"Ooh!" said Susan, "I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

"That you will, dearie, and no mistake, " said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

"I'm longing to see him," said Peter, "even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point." (pp. 79-80)


As Aslan and the children meet, they do feel themselves in awe in his presence. They feel peace when they are near him and they feel stronger being in his presence too. That is how it is when we are in Jesus' presence. I think that we are all longing for something that we cannot describe. Something deep inside us desires to be a part of something wonderful, bigger than ourselves. But until we have a chance to be in the King's presence we aren't sure how we can have that desire fulfilled. What makes the adventure so great is that it isn't predictable, it isn't safe, it is completely wild. But it is good, it is what He has planned for us. He is good to us, He has good intentions in our lives too.

Yesterday, as the girls and I lay on my bed I read another chapter to them. I cannot count how many times I have read this book, it is my favorite. But as I lay reading to them I was struck by the depth of this picture in the chapter that took my breath away and I began to cry as I read to them.

Aslan is on a journey by himself and the girls find themselves unable to sleep and so they begin to follow him. After awhile of stealing into the shadows, Aslan turns around to see them and invites them to walk with him. He seems quiet and they begin to wonder what is wrong with him.

"Aslan! Dear Aslan!" said Lucy, "what is wrong? Can't you tell us?"

"Are you ill, dear Aslan?" asked Susan.

"No," said Aslan. "I am sad and lonely. Lay your hands on my mane so that I can feel you are there and let us walk like that."

And so the girls did what they would never have dared to do without his permission, but what they had longed to do ever since they first saw him-buried their cold hands in the beautiful sea of fur and stoked it and, so doing, walked with him. (pp.149-150)

My emotions were heavy as I read this aloud to the girls. I have had longings to have Jesus be a physical presence in my life. I long sometimes to see Him, for Him to touch me, to hold me, just to feel Him. But as I read this, the picture of the girls having a moment where they reached out to touch Aslan was too much for me. I hadn't thought of wanting to touch Jesus myself until that moment. What an incredible, scary moment that must have been. He knew the desire of their heart and He granted it in that simple gesture.

As I finished the chapter and try to collect my emotions, I began to think about the desires of my heart. I know the moment that I will have to touch Jesus someday has been put on the top of my list.

Has your brain gotten bigger?

What a silly question to ask.

Sometimes I think that in mothering the brain shrinks. At least my vocabulary has changed a lot. For instance, I was sitting at lunch one day several weeks ago. It was feeding time for all the children. Duane had a chance to come home to join us. As we were eating, I pointed outside and started to say something intelligent and all that came out was, "Huh, ah." I knew in my mind what I needed to say but the words had failed me. Sadly enough, Duane responded, "Yeah, I noticed that the city changed the street light." How odd that he understood what I had wanted to say. So maybe the brain changes in fatherhood too. That gives me more comfort!

Anyhow, I have been reading a book about mothering. The authors quote a journalist that has written an entire book about mothers. In her book she shares that "women who become mothers actually experience a reshaping of the brain in which it becomes a more complex organ-mothers actually get smarter rather than dumber or more spacey!"(Quote from: What Every Mom Needs by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall)

These authors also quote the journalist, "By means of a dynamic combination of love, genes, hormones, and practice, the female brain undergoes concrete and likely long-lasting changes through the process of giving birth and raising children." (The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter by Katherine Ellison.)

WOW!! Evidence that I am not any dumber than I was 7 years ago. I may not talk like I used to but I have a plethora of information stored in my brain that I didn't have back then. Info that will serve me the rest of my life! Songs like "B-I-N-G-O" and "Old MacDonald Had A Farm" and which Polly Pockets have the best dresses. Other useful info, how long does it take to reheat homemade baby food? Is that a hunger or tired cry? Ah, advice that might serve another young woman well that I may have a chance to pass along someday.

In any event, I am so thankful that my brain has changed. I know that I am fuller because of my family. I am a different person because of how the past 7 years have changed me. I don't find that I am that much more interesting but hopefully my children see something in me that draws them closer each day. By the way, I think that it is wonderful that Duane's brain has changed too!

Forgiveness in the midst of hurt

Yesterday I was deeply hurt by someone that I love. In the midst of the hurt I fought hard to keep my emotions in check. This person appeared to be intentional in the things they said but I know that it in retrospect they were reacting to the situation. Later I had a choice to make. Forgive or harbor bitterness? Of course I wanted justice, I wanted to retaliate and bite back with harsh words. I shared my feelings with the Lord, "God, I am so angry right now, I want to hate them." Now I see how thankful I should be that I didn't say those things! Of course I don't hate them, I love them more than my own life!

Matthew 18:21-21 reads:

21At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" 22Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.


Wonder what prompted Peter to ask Jesus this question? Had someone offended him? Had he offended someone else and was thinking, "Man, I blew it AGAIN! How will they ever forgive me?" Goodness knows that Peter was forever sticking his foot in his mouth. He probably had his share of people that he had offended. The closer that he got to Jesus the more he became aware of his shortcomings. Isn't that true in our own lives?

Instinctly, we are drawn to good things, pure things, things that cause us to be better people. Babies bring that out in a lot of people. Holding a newborn causes many new parents to rethink what their life looks like. "Maybe I should get more involved in a church..." Spring time pulls a lot of people outside to enjoy the budding of new life. We are drawn towards light in the dark. Good things cause us to want to be good.

Seventy times seven, Jesus said. 490 times? Probably Jesus was just speaking figuratively. He means don't keep count of how many times you have forgiven someone for the same offense. Yes, it is hard to forgive sometimes. But how many times have we been on the other end? Do you continue to ask forgiveness from someone you have offended? Do you ever wonder if their grace and patience will run out? It is possible that it may. But do you know that Someone has more grace and patience than you? Jesus does.

I think about my own life and I am embarrassed to think how some of the things in my life that I hide from others is the same sin over and over again. Seventy times seven. I know that the Lord has forgiven me far more times than that for the same sin. How gracious He is. How much more gracious He asks us to be with others!