Your guess is as good as mine!

BE WARNED, THE FOLLOWING HAS SOME STRONG STATEMENTS CONCERNING MY PREGNANCY. THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART TO READ. JUST PREPARE YOURSELF TO LISTEN TO MY SOAPBOX.

I had a prenatal checkup yesterday. The kind that you wait for 45 minutes to be seen for 10. Anyhow, I heard the heartbeat and my belly was measured. My blood pressure seemed OK and my weight has gone up. A ketostick was dipped in my urine sample but I only saw a few colors and can't quite remember from my days with prenatal nurses what the colors mean. It just looks cool.

But the thing that I really wanted to know I forgot to ask about. "How far along are you?" This is a question that I get almost everyday. I still don't know how to answer it because I don't know. I even asked the receptionist scheduling my next appointment if she could tell by her computer. She just laughed at me and said, "No, it doesn't say. You don't know how far along you are?" I am sure she was dying to look at my swollen belly hidden by the counter thinking to herself, "How can she not know how far along she is? Apparently, this isn't her first baby."

First time moms would know. They know everything about their changing body and their growing baby. I read so much when I was pregnant with Jena and since I was working at the time for a high-risk pregnancy home health care, I had unlimited resources at my fingertips. Not to mention the advice of at least 10 Labor and Delivery nurses. I shared everything I learned with Duane and I am sure that he became smarter because of it. I didn't pay attention to whether of not he really wanted to know, I was just completely fascinated with the info I was learning.

Then the second and third babies come. My life got too busy keeping up with the other offspring I had produced to pay much attention. I knew where every bathroom at every public place was that I went to, that was the type of info I was into by those pregnancies. Will my children end up in counseling later in life because their mother wasn't reading everything she could get her hands on about pregnancies while they were in utero? My uneducated guess would be no. I haven't had to join a counseling support group for this yet, in fact I haven't even asked my mom if she read everything that she could when she was pregnant with me. I think that my children will be OK.

I did try to find out if an old wives' tale was true yesterday. The great debate has begun in our house about whether or not we want to find out the sex of this baby. We have to make our decision by next Thursday, our first ultrasound. Which by the way will finally be the indicator for an official due date. I thought that I would at least try to find out based on the heart rate what the sex was. I found a website that explained the wives' tale. From what I remember, if the heart rate is 140 beats per minute or lower the baby is a boy. If the heart rate is 140 beats per minute or more the baby is said to be a girl. Hmm, that didn't help too much, our baby's heart rate was 140 beats per minute! Like I said before, it is a wives' tale and medical research cannot support the tale.

Rest assured, no matter what we decide next week we will disappoint a lot of people. I understand everyone's "concern" that they know before the baby is born but I think it is our decision. I heard about one wife and husband that found out and didn't tell their parents and her mother didn't talk to her for the rest of her pregnancy! The mother even admitted that she was acting like a baby and was being selfish! I cannot imagine that this information really can put someone out that much that it would ruin a relationship between a mother and daughter. I am so thankful that my mother isn't anything like that!

If everyone knows the sex of the baby and the baby's name what surprise is left? Just what day the baby is born and how much it weighs. Doesn't sound like what I want the birth of this baby to be like. If I have a boy, does it matter if he goes home in something that his sisters wore when they were born? I have some great pictures of Duane in a bonnet when he was little. He survived what he wore. I think that this child will be OK if no one knows, even me, who they are before they come. The Lord knows what this baby is and I trust Him that He knows if they will survive in our family!

Know that just because I choose to keep this information a secret it isn't because I don't trust family and friends, it is all I have left. Nothing else about pregnancy is a secret. I cannot hide the fact that my body is changing anymore and physically everyone can tell things are changing but this one thing is pretty important to me and I have decided whether or not we find out it will be our secret to keep.

In writing this I am sure to have offened and made some of you mad, let it not ruin a relationship, you'll find out sometime between December 21 and January 20th! :)