A Portrait of Pettiness

This morning while I was enjoying my breakfast I came across a story in one of my all time favorite collections of books. The Book of Virtues highlights many wonderful classics. Lately, I have been sharing some of the stories with the girls. They really enjoy the stories and it encourages us to talk about the moral or the lesson to be learned. Some are just fun stories but many times, like the one I read this morning, it truly opens my eyes to something that needs to change in my own life.

A commentary from William J. Bennett before the story reads: (pp.215-216)
This tale appears in different versions all over the world, from Sri Lanka to Scotland. This version warns us that pettiness can cause us to forget our obligations.

The story reads as follows:

There was once a young man who was said to be the most pigheaded fellow in town, and a young woman who was said to be the most mule-headed maiden, and of course they somehow managed to fall in love and be married. After the wedding ceremony, they had a grand feast at their new house, which lasted all day.

Finally all the friends and relatives could eat no more, and one by one they went home. The bride and groom collapsed from exhaustion, and were just getting ready to take off their shoes and relax, when the husband noticed that the last guest to leave had failed to close the door.

"My dear, " he said, "would you mind getting up and shutting the door? There's a draft coming in."

"Why should I shut it?" yawned the wife. "I've been on my feet all day, and I just sat down. You shut it."

"So that's the way it's going to be!" snapped the husband. "Just as soon as you get the ring on your finger, you turn into a lazy good-for-nothing!"

"How dare you!" shouted the bride. "We haven't even been married a day, and already you're calling me names and ordering me around! I should have known this is the kind of husband you'd turn out to be!"

"Nag, nag, nag," grumbled the husband. "Must I listen to your complaining forever?"

"And must I always listen to your carping and whining?" asked the wife.

They sat glaring at each other for a full five minutes. Then an idea popped into the bride's head.

"My dear," she said, "neither of us wants to shut the door, and both of us are tired of hearing the other's voice. So I propose a contest. The one who speaks first must get up and close the door."

"It's the best idea I've heard all day, " replied the husband. "Let us begin now."

So they made themselves comfortable, each on a chair, and sat face-to-face without saying a word.

They had been that way for about two hours when a couple of thieves with a cart passed by and saw the open door. they crept into the house, which seemed perfectly deserted, and began to steal everything they could lay their hands on. they took tables and chairs, pulled paintings off the walls, and even rolled up carpets. But the newlyweds neither spoke nor moved.

"I can't believe this, " thought the husband. "They'll take everything we own, and she won't make a sound."

"Why doesn't he call for help?" the wife asked herself. "Is he just going to sit there while they steal whatever they want?"

Eventually the thieves noticed the silent, motionless couple and mistaking them for wax figures, stripped them of their jewelry, watches, and wallets. But neither husband nor wife uttered a sound.

The robbers hurried away with their loot, and the newlyweds sat through the night. At dawn a policeman walked by and, noticing the open door, stuck in his head to ask if everything was all right. But, of course, he couldn't get an answer out of the silent couple.

"Now, see here!" he yelled, "I'm an officer of the law! Who are you? Is this your house? What happened to all your furniture?" And still getting no response, he raised his hands to box the man's ears.

"Don't you dare!" cried the wife, jumping to her feet. "That's my new husband, and if you lay a finger on him, you'll have to answer to me!"

"I won!" yelled the husband, clapping his hands. "Now go and close the door."



Although this seems a bit far-fetched, I find myself thinking back over times that I have been very petty with Duane. Is my marriage really that shallow that I would act like this? I had been struggling this morning with my thoughts over feeling that I was entitled to something, which I see now the Lord used this story to wake me up to my selfishness. It doesn't matter what the silly little issues are over, it is a matter of seeing my marriage for what it is worth. The thieves remind me of what Satan wants to do in our lives, our marriages. God's word says that he is a thief and he comes only to steal, kill and destroy. What ground do I allow him when I act like this?

I don't want my life to miss what fulfillment the Lord wants to bring. I realize that in order to fight the pettiness, I need to be willing to die to myself over and over. My marriage is definitely worth the work and sacrifice that we have put into it and I am willing to continue to fight against what Satan has planned for it in order to honor the Lord.

Late Night Run

So I am 32 weeks pregnant and I have finally given in to my cravings...

Duane is the sweetest husband around, even if he is complaining right now. He is on his way to Taco Bell. Yes, he is making a run for the border for me. I have held out as long as I can. I know he loves me or he would have given me the keys to the car and told me to go myself. He hasn't gone out for just me this entire pregnancy and I think that I have worn him thin. Usually he tells me, "Just sleep it off, Maria." So I try but I still crave something bad late at night. Nothing in the house looked good. I know that it sounds disgusting but maybe just this once and then my mind will be silenced!

Ah, the plight of the husband with a wife with pregnancy cravings...

He is a good man and he deserves kudos for his sacrifice.

Internal Alarm Clock

I think I am beginning to understand what an "internal alarm clock" is.


This morning, I was awakened to my little internal alarm clock. I felt a rush of movement from my little one in utero and woke up before my alarm clock began it's annoying beeping. My little one did a somersault in my belly and I was so excited to feel the baby move like that!

Duane and I had a discussion today about being a woman. He was asking me how I would feel if someone had told me that I could not experience carrying a child after I had already had the experience, if that makes sense. I told him I would be really sad. He asked me to help him understand what it is like to carry a baby inside. It is a tough thing to describe to a man since the only movement he can relate to is his bowel movements! I tried to explain the "butterflies" at the beginning of the pregnancy and then the stronger movements, kick, and flips as the pregnancy progresses.

It is THE most amazing thing I have ever experienced and I started to get sad that this probably will be my last chance to enjoy this time. I am so grateful to have had the chance to carry 4 babies. I have some good friends that will never have that experience. It breaks my heart for them.

What a privilege to be a woman! So often I bemoan my lot in life as a mother, but it is days like today that I can see how fortunate and blessed the Lord has made my life as a woman. So I take encouragement that I have had the chance to experience one of the most amazing events in life!

Dressing Up

Annie was our little lamb. She had a cute little black nose and some small whiskers but I was informed later that lambs don't have whiskers. But still she looked so cute. The other girls each had a chance to wear this costume when they were her age. It has become my favorite over the years.

Paige was a little waitress from Sonic. This costume I am proud to say that I made all by myself! We found the idea in a magazine and we improvised a bit. The tray she is carrying has an ice cream dish with white cotton balls, a red "cherry" ball on top. Behind the ice cream dish is a Coke cup with 2 brown socks and a straw inside. Next to that is a piece of bread, a napkin and a spoon. All were glued to the tray. She chose the fabric and I sewed a pocket and ribbon to tie the apron around her waist. Duane designed her name tag with the "Sonic" label and her name printed beneath. She got a lot of compliments on her outfit! Duane told me that some women even told him that we should make more of these trays and sell them!

"Chef Marshall" joined the festivities too. Jena chose her costume which included an apron, chef's hat, recipe cards, basting brush, whisk and even a french mustache. Duane also designed her name tag which he placed on her chef's hat. Jena had a parade and a party at her school earlier that afternoon. After parading around the playground the students went inside to enjoy snacks and goodie bags supplied by the parents. She had a long day and was very ready for bed at the end of the evening!

Toots and Smiles!

I will clarify this video by including a warning: WHAT SOME PEOPLE FIND FUNNY, OTHERS MAY NOT! We all found this video quite hysterical. Hope you enjoy!

The Salve for Every Sore

Matthew Henry once wrote a commentary of Mark 1:30-34. This passage records Jesus, James, John, Andrew and Simon at Simon's house one evening. These men had just been chosen by Jesus to be among his first disciples. That day they had come from the synagogue where they'd witnessed one of Jesus' first healings. He had healed a man possessed by a demon in the synagogue!

They went home to Simon's house that evening and found that Simon's mother-in-law was in bed sick with a fever. Jesus went to her and took her by the hand to help her up and she began to wait on them! Another healing. Soon they found the entire town of Capernaum at their front door begging to see Jesus to heal their friends and family members! The entire town!

And he does. He heals the sick, those with diseases, those that are lame, blind, deaf, and those who were possessed by demons. Can you imagine what these disciples must have been thinking? "I think we chose the right guy to follow!"

Matthew Henry writes that Jesus' word is a "Panpharmacon- a salve for every sore." He wasn't just a guy that could only heal certain sicknesses. He healed a myriad of ailments, diseases and demonic possessions.

Jesus easily could have said a blanket statement like, "Be healed." and then gone back inside to rest for the evening. It had been a long day. He had stepped into the role as Rabbi at the synagogue before the man with a demon spoke out against him. He was teaching the Jews with authority about the scriptures. Everyone was amazed at his wisdom and teaching ability.

But instead of thinking about himself, Jesus chose to get personal with each one who needed healing. He wanted to touch each one. He wasn't offended by the man with leprosy, his open sores oozing puss and everyone around him keeping their distance. No, he looked the man in the eye and laid his hands on him and healed him. He knew this man and dozens of others needed his touch. He wanted this experience to be personal. He knew that their testimony would be, "The Lord Jesus healed me. You knew what I suffered before, now look at me and see what He did!" Jesus wanted the friends and family members that brought their sick and lame to him to be touched too. It wasn't enough that these people sought after him, he wanted them to know that they'd found him!

Satisfaction rested in Jesus' heart being in the midst of that crowd. He loved people and he wanted his new disciples to see that. He wanted them to see a radical way of relating to and loving people.

Alone, his word brought healing. A salve for every sore. I have been touched by him.

Last week, I was driving home after dropping off my daughter at school. As I turned on to our street my vision began to leave, I was getting a migraine. Instantly, I turned off the radio and prayed, "Oh, Lord Jesus, will you come and heal me of my migraine? You know all the things I need to do today and my children that I need to care for."

I called a friend and my husband and asked them to pray for me. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. My girls just stood around me watching me, waiting for me to get up and do something. I tried to explain to them that I couldn't see them, I don't think that they understood though. I had an OB appointment and blood draw in less than an hour and the way this was progressing I was thinking I wouldn't make it. I called my husband to see if he could come home to drive me since I couldn't see and he tried to convince me to cancel my appointment. I told him I would consider it and I would call him back later. I got up off the couch to "see " if I could find out what time it was. As I began to walk, I started to see a little bit better. With each step my vision returned! The Lord had healed me! With my migraines, I am usually out for 6-7 hours in a very dark room, vomiting and begging for relief from the pain.

I could see and I didn't have any pain! I was able to make my appointment and drive myself!
How good and gracious the Lord is to me.

Psalm 107:20 says:
"He sent forth his word and healed them..."

My panpharmacon healed me! His touch is personal. He wants to look us in the eye and allow us to experience him in an intimate way. His word is the salve we need for our wounds, sores, sicknesses, diseases and our loneliness. Allow Him to show you how he wants to heal you. Ask him, this time he is the One standing at your door waiting for you to open it and see Him.

85 days and counting...

Eighty-five more days or so until I can bring another child into this world!

Amazing! That is not that long from now and usually I go early so it could be less. But it helps to put my life into a better perspective as far as how much time I have left until life changes once again. Soon a little 7 pounder will demand all of me!

The baby moves a lot now. This time I have a better understanding of what is going on and really enjoy watching this little one move around. The girls ask when the baby will arrive, if we've chosen a name and what is the sex of the baby. I cannot answer any of their questions.

Complete strangers give me their take on what we will be having. I've heard, "Oh, it's time for you to have a boy!" "Your poor husband, he needs another man around the house." "Oh, you are soooo having another girl!" "You can only make girls, huh?" "If you have another girl will you keep trying until you have a boy?"

Whether or not this is the last pregnancy for us, we want to relish this time. Duane loves to listen to my belly and the girls get so excited when they can feel the baby move. It is incredible to share this with them. I am so grateful that the Lord chose us to care for this little one. We continue to remind ourselves when we get overwhelmed that we have tools in our family that this little one needs and the Lord is not going to leave us to do this alone! Thank God!

Couscous and Tantrums

The other night I made a delicious meal! I say that because I was getting tired of the hum-drum of baked chicken. I wanted to "spice" things up and make something different. Never mind that this meal did not get finished until almost 7pm, it just ensured that everyone was EXTREMELY hungry and ate very well.


At a bridal shower of mine, my mother asked everyone to come prepared with a favorite recipe to share with me. A good friend of the family brought a recipe from her stack. Her husband had grown up in Morocco as a missionary child. But she had also developed a love for authentic Mediterranean and Asian food growing up. Her recipe was entitled: Lebanese Chicken. I remember thinking, "Wow, I don't think that I will ever make this, I don't even quite know where Lebanon is, I think it is a small town south of Columbus but I am not sure." Anyhow, I have carried it with me these past 8 years always skipping past it in my recipe box.

About a year ago I found it again and thought that I would try it. It called for couscous. I didn't have any so I purchased some and made sure that I had all the ingredients that I needed and decided to prepare it for the family. The chicken was a hit, sweet and tender and the "best chicken I have ever tasted Mommy," the couscous was a flop, "What is this? It is dry and yucky." The girls said something similar, that was Duane's response!

Have you ever tried couscous? It generally picks up the flavor of whatever it is near, quite like rice but just a different color (yellow) and a different texture (small and round.) Duane made it very clear that he didn't want it ever again! Jena and Paige tried it and basically said the same thing. I, on the other hand, fell in love with it. Maybe it was the craving or the desire to "try, try, again" with the family but I made the couscous again.



Everyone turned up their noses but Annie. She loved it and begged for more and then begged for some more. Honestly I was getting a bit stingy with her because I wanted to keep most of the couscous for myself. But secretly I was excited that at least someone in the family liked it, even if she doesn't have any words and will eat almost anything in front of her! Although the photo is a bit blurry you can see the bits of couscous on her hands and face. Pure delight!



Several nights later as I was preparing another delicious meal for the family. Ha Ha! Another secret sandwich recipe...Wednesday youth group night... Annie was busy singing near me as I prepared the food. She knows several songs but her favorite one right now is one she has made up all on her own. The words aren't that hard to learn so I will try my best to convey the essence: "Mama...mama...mama..." It is the most beautiful song I have ever heard and will treasure it always. She adds different keys and dance moves each time but the meaning conveys her heart for her Mama and I LOVE IT!



Anyhow, I thought, "How nice it would be to record this moment and show her later on how much she loved her Mama and how stinking cute she is when she sings. I will record her without her noticing." So I quickly grab the camera and begin recording and this is what I got instead:

What began in song ended in tragedy. Her mama didn't have her heart anymore, she made that very clear after the camera was turned off. Nevertheless, I got a few seconds of sweet Annie and then many longer seconds of not-so-sweet Annie. We are in the 20th month of her life and it seems conceivable that the "Terrible Twos" are upon us now.

We have the good moments and the ones we'd rather not dwell on but either way we have them and have to live through them. I am thankful that these days are upon me right now!

Reinforcing the Truth

Isn't the Lord good?

This afternoon, the girls came in from school and had their snack. Then they plopped themselves in front of the TV for a little quiet time. They turned on the Family Network and began watching a show with Mary Lou Retton. A character on the show was having a hard time forgiving someone that had hurt them. Mary Lou encouraged the girl to forgive even when it is hard. She stressed that when we choose not to forgive we not only hurt the other person but we hurt ourselves too. We are filled with anger and not love. The rest of the show was about the girl choosing to forgive the other person and building a bridge in their friendship and honoring what the Lord would want her to do.

Jena looked at me and I just raised my eyebrows. I think the conversation we'd had earlier returned to her mind. I asked her, "What do you think about that Jena? Isn't that what we talked about this morning?" She said, "Yes." I could tell that she was relieved that she had made the decision to forgive.

What a great God we have!

The Pain of Unforgiveness

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Those are the words of Jesus as he was crucified on the cross. He said these words to show the depth of his love for those that crucified him and for us. But have you ever considered the impact of these famous words? I think that I have had a glimpse of the impact just this week.

It is really easy to read these words that Luke pens in Luke 23. But to say them aloud is something else and to believe them from your spirit is not something that is easy to do. When we consider the times that we've had a decision to forgive someone or to hold onto our unforgiveness it brings us a bit closer to the cross.

Often, I find that it is really easy for me to say these words of forgiveness and it isn't always the case in really believing that I have forgiven. But I find that truly releasing my unforgiveness brings a deeper understanding of what Jesus meant. He said these words for us. For our benefit, we are forgiven for the sin in our lives but also it teaches how to release others too.

My daughter Jena has had a really rough start to the school year. She has been bombarded with one situation after another whether it is a sickness or something involving another classmate. She has been having a bad week this week.

She came to me earlier this week complaining that her stomach hurts. She has been battling this for several weeks now and I have adjusted her diet and tried to make sure that she is getting enough rest. When I ask her what she thinks is causing her pain she tells me that she doesn't know. Duane battles IBS and I have often wondered if she will too. It pains me to think that she is only 6 and already having troubles.

Every day this week, I have dropped her off at school and she has walked into school crying. It kills me to see her like this but I know that I cannot keep her at home just because she doesn't feel like going to school. She has begged me to home school her but I don't have peace about that. I know that the Lord made it very clear to us that this is where she needs to be.

She had an incident earlier that involved two of the boys in her class chasing her and her friends at recess. I encouraged her to confront the boys and she did and they left her alone. But on Monday morning, she came to school to find that her seat had been moved and she was at a different table. She had been moved away from one of the boys and placed right next to the other one. She told me one day that it really bothered her that the boys talk about poop and pee all the time and they have rude manners. I explained to her that is how some people are. I asked her if she had asked them to stop. She said that she would. So the next day she did and he agreed to stop talking like that.

But then the next day it was a story about the other boy. After I dropped her off in tears again, I began asking the Lord what was the root of her sadness each morning. I felt him respond that she wouldn't have all her stomach problems and sadness if she would choose to forgive these boys. I was shocked by His response. But the more I prayed about it the more it made sense. I have had several instances in my life that I can see that physically I changed as a result of unforgiveness.

I approached Jena and asked her if she had forgiven the boys. She said that she hadn't. I told her that I had been praying for her and shared with her what the Lord had told me. I told her that it had to be her decision to forgive that I couldn't do it for her. I waited on her for a while. I reminded her several times that I was would pray with her when she decided.

We battled all morning today. She was sobbing at breakfast that she didn't want to go to school. I talked with her about it and even reminded her about a song we'd learned several years ago. Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." I explained to her what the verse meant and how I believed that her stomach aches would quit when she forgave these boys. I shared with her that there are people in every one's life that they don't necessarily want to be around or even like but the Lord puts those people in our lives for a reason. Many times it is to change us, not them.

Finally on our way to school this morning, Jena told me that she had told the Lord that she wanted to forgiven them. I prayed with her and told her that she needed to remember all day that she had chose to forgive them and sometimes it would be hard to stand next to that. She teared up again once we got to school but I am praying that the Lord will give her strength to make it through her day and that she can experience some joy.

I am excited to hear how her day went today. I know that she can experience freedom in all this. My tendency is to shelter her but I know the dangers of that and I trust that the Lord is with her all day and I know that He makes His presence known to her. She tells me that He does. As we grow in parenting we find peace in knowing that we are not in this alone, the Lord is walking this road with us.

Play time!

The other evening we took the girls to a nearby park to let them expend some of their pent-up energy. They always love going to this park and the night was beautiful.

Annie tries so hard to keep up with her big sisters. She wants to do the same things that they are doing and usually has no fear when it comes to trying new things.

Hence this video:

The night was getting dark fast but the video had us all cracking up. Annie was very anxious to get down this slide. I think that she wanted to race Duane down the slide. Sorry for my giggling but it was too funny to see her try!
The park also has a pond with lots of ducks. I had been saving some old bread and brought it along for the girls to feed to the ducks. Annie tried really hard to feed the ducks but she decided that she liked sampling the bread more than sharing.

Jena and Paige appear fearless too when climbing all over the equipment. At one point I heard Jena yelling for me and I found her hanging upside down on some rings. It was a great moment because I remember that feeling when I was younger. Certainly if I weren't pregnant I would've shown her what her old woman could do on the rings too! Jena has certainly proved that she is all monkey this past year and isn't afraid to show her skills. Paige on the other hand is a bit more tentative. She will watch Jena do something and then try to convince herself that she can do it too. With A LOT of coaching on our part she eventually will do it too. Nonetheless she still enjoys playing around and climbing up the climbing wall.

Later on, Jena yelled that she was going to go down the tunnel slide backwards. She came flying down the slide on her back with her head first. She couldn't stop herself and fell on her head. She just got up laughed at herself and went back up to try it again! Not the case with Paige, she would have given up and wanted to go home.

I must admit that sometimes I would rather be a bit more relaxed and not be such a mama bird! Here Duane caught me in the action of being protective.

It sure is good to see the girls enjoy themselves and I think that Duane and I did too!

What good can come of this?

It is 2am and I cannot sleep.

I have been the recipient of a horrific case of poison ivy. I received this "gift" almost 2 1/2 weeks ago and the past 2 days have been the worse. On Monday I bought a small bottle of 100% tea tree oil and applied it to my wounds.

That night I broke out into a rash all over my belly and neck. The next two days I spent trying not to scratch at the rash that may have been a reaction to the tea tree oil. It has gotten so bad that my ears itch. Now that is pretty pathetic.

On Wednesday I called my primary care physician to beg them to call in something to release me from my pain. But they wouldn't. They claimed that they were too busy to see me and maybe I needed to call my OB. I had already called my OB and they said that if it got any worse I should see a dermatologist. So I did what anyone else would do in my situation. I began to cry.

I was on my way to drop off Paige for preschool. I dialed Duane's office and told him the conversation I had with my doctor. He was gracious enough just to listen. The night before I had shared with him that I just wanted him to listen to me and offer sympathy. I knew that he couldn't do anything to heal me or fix me, I just needed him to listen. So that is what he did. Then he suggested that he would call my OB's office to see if they'd give me a referral to a dermatologist.

After I hung up, Paige asked, "Momma, why are you crying?" Obviously my attempt at trying to hide my tears didn't work. I was honest with her and told her that Mommy was pretty sad that she felt this way and wanted it to go away. Then she asked me, "When is Jesus going to heal your legs?" I didn't know what to say to her.

We got a call back later that day that my dermatology appointment would be on Friday morning. But it was Wednesday. Duane saw my look of desperation and asked, "Do you think you can make it till then?" I responded, "Yes." What else could I say? In the light of what others I know who are suffering, this itching is nothing. It could be constant pain. I am thankful for that.

So to survive the past two days I have been taking Benadryl around the clock and applying the strongest cream that I can find to my patches of poison ivy.

In my times of desperation when I am crying out to the Lord I hear Him remind me that His grace is enough and my weakness can become His strength. But the one thing I am learning is that my complaining gets me nowhere. I quietly bite my tongue when I think I cannot handle another itch and ask the Lord for His strength to ignore it. Sometimes I can handle it and other times I find that I can't.

Hence the reason that I am up at 2am. I woke up clawing my legs trying to find relief. Then began the itching on my arms. I used to believe that itching meant that things were healing, now it means that things are spreading. Duane was amazed at how bad this is getting when he saw my arms earlier today.

I am reminded of a passage in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (New International Version), Paul is addressing an issue that he had been dealing with, his "thorn in the flesh."

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

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So this is my prayer now. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal in the light of what Jesus did for us but I know that the Lord uses situations like this to draw us closer to Him. Poison Ivy might just be that thing that the Lord uses in my life to teach me about depending on him.

Lord allow Jesus' power to rest on me. Teach me how to delight in weaknesses. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Apple Bobbing & Birthdays

This past weekend we hosted a party for 4 of our friends who all happen to have birthdays within a week of each other. We all have been wishing fall would arrive soon and so we decided on a fall theme for the party.

We grilled chicken kabobs and began a fire on the gas grill! Everyone was gracious enough to pick apart their chargrilled tomatoes, pineapple and peppers. For dessert I made some homemade pies. Pies always signal fall to me. I wanted things to be a little bit different so I thought an apple and pumpkin pie would suffice.

The ladies had a chance to open their gifts and many expressed that they felt it was like Christmas. It is so fun to see mothers get to enjoy themselves and not have to work so hard on their special day.

After the gift exchanges, we headed outside for a little apple-bobbing contest. Many of the children hadn't a clue what was about to happen but they were excited nonetheless. We decided to have the youngest child go first. Hindsight shows that maybe Kenton needs to remember what his age is before pushing the little children out of his way!

But it probably was neccesary to teach the children how to bob for apples. He freaked Annie out when he pulled his head out of the water. Little Norah was excited to try next since she was the youngest. Then came Paige, she was pretty nervous and got a little scared but she gave it her all.

Judah was very enthusiastic about getting his apple. He didn't hesitate to put his head in the water, just like his daddy. Most of the little children had a hard time getting an apple, but they enjoyed their attempts. Jena dove into the bucket holding her nose! We were all laughing at her because she had a hard time getting an apple. On her last try later on she did score her apple. Kate and Maddy were next. Maddy stick her whole head in and drenched herself!

Payge was the last one to try and she did a great job, especially since many of them hadn't tried this before. They all had such a great time, it was fun to watch them. Wendy, David and Rachel all gave it their all too:A tradition has begun among us and we are all looking forward to the next fall activity!

Just In Case You Were Wondering...

Just in case anyone has been wondering what to get us for the new baby, I thought that I would give some ideas. Since no one out here knows what "OSU" really stands for, let me enlighten you. "OSU" stands for "Ohio State University."

I was really excited the other day when I pulled into a parking space at the pharmacy right next to a car with bumper stickers proudly exclaiming: "TBDBTL." Of course no one here would know what that acronym means, but to those of us who "bleed scarlet and gray" it warms our hearts.

Brutus Buckeye is the mascot. He is a giant nut. I understand that it seems silly to some but not to those of us from the state shaped like a heart. All this is making me really miss "The Heart of It All." What a better state motto than, "Kansas, it is bigger than you think."

I wish there was a way to make music play while you are reading this blog, you'd be enjoying, "Hang on Sloopy" and dying to see "TBDBTL" (the Ohio State Marching Band) perform "script Ohio" what a sight. I say this because my uncle was a part of the prestigious band when he attended OSU.

Fall always reminds me that the Buckeyes will be entering a new football season and all those who live in Columbus get a little crazy with "Buckeye Fever, " just ask David and Jenny, right guys? Jenny's father is one of the biggest fans I have ever met and it makes me smile to think that he is gearing up for another season too! Love you Jeff!

GO BUCKS! GO BUCKS! GO BUCKS! GO BUCKS!

The Name Has Been Chosen!

We have always had a rough time choosing a name for each of our children. Here is how the argument, excuse me, conversation goes...

Me: What do you think about this name?

Duane: Hmm, no.

Me: OK, well, I think this one is really cute. What do you think?

Duane: Well, what about this one instead?

Me: No, that is too weird. That is used for the other gender.

Duane: Did I tell you what happened at work today?

Me: No, but what about the baby's name?

Duane: We can talk about it later.


And on and on it goes for several months. I think that when we went to the hospital to have Paige we didn't quite know what we were going to name her. We didn't know if she was a boy or girl. We had so many girl names picked out but no boy names.

I think that our issue lies in the fact that there are so many names to chose from that it gets overwhelming. Hence, baby number 4. The saga continued.

With our miscarriage we hadn't even come to the part of the pregnancy that we had begun the task of deciding. But about 2 years ago a very good friend shared an incredible story with me and encouraged me to talk to the Lord about the miscarriage. I still carried a lot of guilt and some shame over the loss but I thought that it would always be with me. This friend told me that I should seriously consider asking the Lord to share the baby's name with me. It was a completely strange thing to consider. But I thought that I would pray about it.

I hesitantly went to the Lord and asked him if I was being silly asking Him to tell me about this child that we'd lost. Quietly I felt Him say that it was a little girl and a name popped into my head. I prayed about this name for several days asking Him if it really was her name and each time He responded "yes." I fell apart. It was the healing that I had been needing and He knew it.

Several months later we found out that we were pregnant with Annie. After she was born, my grandmother passed away. I had a chance before she died to talk to her on the phone while I was in the hospital. She was able to see a picture of her but she would never hold Annie. How I mourned over this. My grandmother was so close to me growing up and I cannot explain the joy I felt at seeing her hold Jena and Paige once they were born, four generations were present at that moment.

One day as I was standing at the kitchen sink, not too long after Annie's birth. I was really sad that day and really missing my grandmother. I hadn't been able to attend her viewing or funeral since we were over 800 miles away. As I prayed that day, the Lord gave me a picture of my grandmother holding a baby. I felt the Lord say that she was holding the one that I had lost. They had a chance to meet. She held one that I would never be able to hold here in my life time. What completeness I experienced in that moment.

With this pregnancy, knowing that this will be the last, we have been very careful in the name selection. Not that we hadn't been with the other children but I think it is a bit more meaningful to us. Of course we know the gender and that makes the decision a little bit easier or at least narrows it down quite a bit.

Earlier this week, Duane and I exchanged this email over a particular name and middle name:

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PICK OUT THE BEST NAMES????????

I must have too much pride in this department and the Lord thinks it is necessary to humble me to my knees to admit I am nothing when it comes to picking names!!!!

I love it. Good job babe!

Love,
Maria.


Duane's response:

Stop.

It is only part of my job to name things. I don't exactly set out to trump your names. Our interplay of ideas makes all the difference in doing this. However, God give Adam the job of naming all the animals... :) Then again I like the think that Adam had more than he could handle and God gave him the perfect partner to get the job done. Ha!! Hey, remember that we are a team and I don't take sole credit for any of the kids' names or who they are. By the way, Jena is all yours. Ha!! Just kidding.

I don't know why it even matters. I guess it is just a point of view thing. So what is your point of view?

It always could be worse. What if I didn't even care or I made you name the kids really bad names. Yikes!

-Duane


To prove a point I suppose would be to say that Duane has an incredible way of choosing the names or at least he hears a lot more clearly than I do from the Lord on this particular subject. My judgment is clouded sometimes by my emotions and all the extra amniotic fluid I am carrying around!

So we are almost 24 weeks along and we have made the decision on this child's name earlier than the other three!

How I Am Like Israel...

In Ezekiel 36, the Lord speaks to Ezekiel, a prophet, a word concerning Israel.

The Lord tells him to tell the land of Israel, (the mountains, hills, ravines and valleys, the desolate ruins and deserted towns) that He is going to bless them. That seems a little odd doesn't it? Why would the Lord want the land to know that He wants to bless it?

The Lord is about to return his people to Israel. They had been in exile for a long time and He was rescuing them and returning them to their homes. He was going to bless the fruit of the land and prosper it like it had been before the people of Edom and others came to take possession of it.

Interestingly, He wants the people of Israel to know that it isn't for them that He is doing this, but for His Name sake.

"...It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. I will show the holiness of my great name, which you have profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. The the nations will know that I am the Lord, declares the Sovereign Lord, when I show myself holy through you before their eyes." Ezekiel 36:22-23

Even though Israel profaned the Lord's name among these other nations while they were in exile, He still chose to show Himself holy through them. He chose to bless them despite their disobedience.

I am baffled by this.

Israel knows that they are God's chosen people. When they are in exile they turn away from the Lord and the ways that they had known before. Wonder why? Perhaps, they were angry that they had lost their homes and were made to live in foreign places. They were cut off from their heritage, their customs, their people. They had been scattered. They were integrated into new societies whether they wanted to be or not. They probably fought the customs, foods, traditions, and religions as hard as they knew how to, but without the support of their brothers they probably fell into these customs. New generations were born while they were in exile too. It just wasn't a few years that they'd been away from Israel, it had been a long time. Perhaps they felt the Lord had abandoned them.

Yet the Lord wants to bring them back in the "Land Beautiful," (Daniel 11:16) He wanted to prosper them in this land and multiply them, their crops and their animals.

When they turned their backs on Him and in their sin, the Lord still wanted them. He wanted them to know that they were His people still. He chose to make Himself known through them. Why? They'd turned their backs on Him and spoke against Him. Yet they were His. He couldn't turn His back on them. He loved them.

He wanted to show Himself holy through them, (Ezekiel 36:23) He was rescuing them from the places that they were in exile (v.24), He would cleanse them and put a new heart in them (v.26).


"I will give You a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people and I will be your God." Ezekiel 36:26-28


He is jealous for them.

He is jealous for us too.

All He asks from is Israel:
1. Follow His decrees (v.27)
2. Be careful to obey his laws (v.27)
3. Live in the land of their forefathers (v.28)
4. Be His people (v.28.)

But look at all He wants to do for them:
1. Rescue them from exile (v.24)
2. Bring them back (v.24)
3. Cleanse them w/water to clean them from their impurities and idols (v.25)
4. Remove their heart of stone (v.26)
5. Give them a new heart, a heart of flesh (v.26)
6. Put a His spirit in them (v.26)
7. Allow them to live in the land of their forefathers (v.28)
8. Be His people and He will be their God (v.28)

Incredible!

He loves Israel so much. But He does all this for His name sake (v.22). His name is holy. He wants to show the holiness of His great name (v.23). he will show Himself holy through Israel so that others will know that Lord is their God.

What about us? He desires to do the same thing in our lives. When have I profaned the Lord's name with my words and actions? Am I living in exile? Of course. Yet the Lord's promise is that no matter what I do, how I mess things up, He still loves me and desires to bring me back to Him to show others that He is Holy. He is good. His name alone is Holy. He wants the same thing for you too.

Sketches Of Life

One night last week, Duane and the girls sat down at the table to work on some sketches. The girls were making books, while Annie was eating her snack. I looked over at Duane and he had picked up a marker found a piece of paper and began sketching me. In just a matter of a few moments, I began to take shape on his paper.

Soon, little people were added and details given to each of the little ones that give them personality. Carefully looking over each little girl in the sketch above will show the distinct attributes of my girls. Annie with little pigtails is hiding behind my legs watching her older sisters. Notice that she has one leg kicked up to show her playfulness whenever she is near me. Paige is standing next to me with her backpack on, ready for school,quiet and a bit unsure of what to expect. She is holding a doll while staring at her sister Jena. Jena, which you'll notice has her arms gesturing and exclaiming some amazing thing that has happened to her. She is wearing a t-shirt with the words, "Big Shot" written across the front. That is really what she thinks of herself.

But don't miss the most important thing in this sketch. I think that you truly get an idea of what the artist really sees when he is sketching each person on his page. My belly is swollen with child and I have a look of confusion, maybe that of feeling overwhelmed. Do I look a little lost? Is this how my husband really sees me? Maybe so. Whatever the feeling he was trying to evoke he has certainly given me much to think about.

In any case, I thought that it was worth saving this sketch to remind myself that I shouldn't feel overwhelmed and trust that this season in my life will soon be over and someday I will be wishing I still was in this season. For that look into the future I can be thankful!

Motherhood

This is an incredible story through an email we received from my mother-in-law. I think that it sums up what as mothers we are trying to make sense of everyday.


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going she's going. She's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Paige's 1st day of Preschool

Paige began preschool for the first time today. She is in a class with nine boys and only two other girls. Her teacher's name is Miss Rhonda. She was a bit nervous about going for the first time but did great when I dropped her off. I was the one crying on the way back to the car!

Anyhow, Duane went with me to pick her up. She told us that she learned the Pledge of Allegiance and had "calendar time." Her classroom has two pets: one guinea pig and a mouse. Paige stated that the mouse looked like it was drinking snot from it's bottle but she thought that it must be milk since it was creamy looking. She met a little boy with "orange hair and freckles on his face."

She had graham crackers with cinnamon and orange juice for a snack and got a chance to play on the playground. Her favorite things to play on were the teeter totters and a large bicycle. She learned about how "Jesus grew and grew and grew." She also had a chance to make a craft learning about the color red.

All in all I'd say that she had a full day. We told Paige that she would have a chance to choose a special place to eat lunch and she chose the Sonic that is directly across the street. So we sat in the car and ate our lunch.

What a great day for our Paige!

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(The picture is taken on our new couch in our freshly painted living room, for all those out-of- towners!)

Labor Day Weekend

The family joined several other families for a nice dip in a cool refreshing pool yesterday. As for me, I was strung out on the couch, trying to calm my contractions and my aching belly the entire day. Yes, I am only 21 weeks and have begun the lovely bit of contracting. Much of my contracting came from the horrific stomach virus that is currently plaguing my family. The dehydration I was experiencing brought on the contractions. But thanks to a good friend and labor and delivery nurse I laid on my left side most of the day sipping water and munching on a little bit of Benadryl to calm my uterus down. Knowing that the baby probably wouldn't survive if it came this early sent me to rest.

But anyhow, Duane and the older girls went to a pool party. From what I heard from my husband, within 2 minutes of being there Jena was struggling in the near deep end of the pool barely able to keep her head above water and "just like in the movies, Maria, I dove in with all my clothes on, my glasses, hat and shoes to save her." Ah, just what a mother wants to hear when she is lying on the couch in pain. Her oldest almost drowns! But Jena recovered and here are some photos to prove that despite what you look like while swimming, it is the spirit of the activity that matters.

I don't know where she found these goggles but she was so proud of the way that she looked in them. Honestly, Duane and I can think of some other words of what she looks like but we'll be kind and leave that to the readers imagination! How about this one:

Paige on the other hand didn't leave the steps into the pool for several hours. As you can tell her hair looked the same the entire time. She is very content to watch everyone else have fun while she chills by herself.

She told me that she had a great time and in fact told me what everyone else was doing. All in all I think that they all had a great time. Maybe next time I can join the festivities and the heroics! Thanks to my husband who made the save of the day and contributed these photos!