A Lesson I learned from my daughter

As we were enjoying lunch together Paige began our conversation by asking why my parents' dog, Levi, had to die. Paige, just like any other 4 year-old, has been obsessed with learning as much as she can about death lately. I explained to her that Levi was very old and extremely sick and in a lot of pain and he died. (There is more to this story but I thought best to spare her the details.)

She looked at me and said, "Like Grandpa Ken?" I was horrified that she thought my father would die just like the dog did. When they visited a few weeks ago he became very sick and was in bed almost the entire time they were here. I tried to explain to her that he had a virus and a really bad headache and fever but it didn't mean that he would die.

Thankfully she accepted my explanation. I thought our conversation was over until she said, "Mommy, do you have to wear your pajamas all day and all night?" I looked at my clothes and thought, "I know that I don't look that great today but does she really think that I slept in these clothes?" Puzzled, I asked, "What do you mean Paige?"

"I mean when you are in heaven. Do you have to wear your pjs all day?"

I tried to hide my smile. She was serious.

"Sweetheart, I am not really sure what we will wear when we get to heaven. I don't think that it will really matter that much to us because we will be with Jesus."

"What will we talk about with Him?" she asked. "Will we be up in the clouds with Him and God talking?"

I didn't really know how to answer her. There is so much about heaven that I don't understand and these were very serious questions that she was wanting answers to. I'd be a liar if I said that sometimes I don't have similar questions like my daughter's.

"What are we going to do for eternity? Can I worship God that long?"

My attention span is so limited. I find myself focused on petty things in worship or during my quiet times. How can the God of this universe have patience with me? He is so enormous and I am so small. I don't understand Him.

I don't think that I am supposed to understand Him fully. If I did where would mystery of Who He is be? What would my faith rest on? Why would I need to trust Him?

Some big decisions have been weighing on us lately and I find myself continually coming before the Lord asking Him to direct us. I don't want to make any decision without His leading. Yesterday He showed me just how big He is in order to show me that He is God. He alone is able to be trusted with my life. He is in complete control and I have to trust Him no matter if the decision He leads us to doesn't make sense right now. He knows our future, He is the One I need to trust to lead me into it.